“Guaranteed you’ll learn less than a football player at a state school”
Great to talk to you again, my Reading Rabble. I hope you’re all enjoying DEFCON ORANGE (I was going to write CODE: HIGH, but I have too many college students who would take that the wrong way). I notice today is Friday, and for some, also Valentine’s Day. I was hoping to rerun my two Valentine’s Day columns from 2000, when most of you weren’t yet readers, but one of my editors Bear told me to quit being lazy and write something new. So…
#95 Inspired By Ignorance
Calvin: Why should I have to go to school and learn? I have the right to be ignorant!
Hobbes: Does the right to be ignorant even exist?
Calvin: I don’t know, but I refuse to find out!
-From a Calvin and Hobbes comic, by Bill Watterson
I was thinking about a conversation I had with Bear over Christmas break. We were talking about the college Bowl Games, and he kept not knowing where they were played. I got frustrated with him, because I had told him several times. He replied that (like me, as I wrote about recently) he hated the bowl system, and refused to learn anything about it. According to Bear, his lack of knowledge was based on principle; in other words, he was inspired by ignorance.
At the time I railed at Bear for such an attitude, telling him it was counterproductive, lazy, and unbecoming. Lately, though, I’m starting to wonder if he has the right idea. Case in point: I’ve written about this before, so some of you know, but I hate the way the media wrings as much out of every tragedy they can. This isn’t new; it’s been happening ever since there was a press, and far before. And I know the media is just giving the public what they want. Back in the Stone Age the same thing probably happened: everyone would talk about Thag getting caught with the Mastodon. But I don’t care. I hate it. I hate how every little murder is played up to be as big as possible. I realize murder is a big thing. It’s also a horrible thing. But you can’t tell me that putting wall-to-wall coverage on Court TV and every cable news channel makes it better. What we’ve done is make celebrities out of victims, their families, and the killers too. I’ve said before and I’ll say again: unless they are famous or important, or there is danger to the community, individual crime does not need to be covered nationally.
But I’m in the minority here, and the vultures are going to win this. Nothing I can do to change that. But what I can do, what I’ve chosen to do, is to remain ignorant. A friend asked me last night what I thought about some woman who ran over her dentist three times, or something like that. I told her I didn’t know what she was talking about. That’s because with cases like that, where the only interest is prurient, I chose to remain in the dark. Yes, folks, I too am inspired by ignorance.
This can work for you too. You don’t have to speak French to be ignorant. Do you think movies are from the Devil? Refuse to learn who Mel Gibson is, and when people try to tell you start singing Bringing in the Sheaves. Do you think all sports are boring? Delete ESPN from your remote control, yank your daughter out of soccer and force her to take up Oriental Pottery. Do you think all politicians are evil? That’s easy. Go down to the courthouse and register to vote as a ________. Wait: that’s too easy a shot to take. Let’s move on.
The point is, while it’s good to know about a lot of different things (and not just to win at Trivia), you don’t have to know about everything. You don’t have to pay attention to things you don’t agree with, and follow them because they are on the news every day or people are talking about them. No one said you had to watch the news. And no one said you couldn’t change the subject. You do have the right to remain ignorant. It’s in the Constitution. Don’t believe me? Look it up for yourself. Or don’t. No one said you had to learn anything.
Vowing to be a troglodyte ‘till the cows come home,
Hyperion
Credits:
Inspiration from Birthday Bear
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