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"Chronicle Groupie"

661.  Soon Come The Rain (7/02/11) After Dark short story - a woman contemplates certain storms

660.  Faded Jeans (6/25/11) After Dark story about bf/gf visiting her Mom and Dad for the first time

659.  Blue Fairy Dream (6/21/11) After Dark story - Gues Dreamer Nezemnaya

658.  Mayday (6/17/11) Guest story by Cat C.

657.  Franklin and Bash (6/16/11) Review

656.  Where Does Shaq Rank Historically? (6/02/11) Quick look at Shaquille O'Neal's career upon news of his retirement

655.  THOR's Day (5/06/11) Review of THOR

654.  Killing The Borgias (4/04/11) Reviews of The Killing, The Borgias, Breaking In and Chaos

653.  Sucker Punch (3/31/11) Review of Sucker Punch and uncomfortable discussion of child abuse

652.  Hyperion-X 999 (5/19/03) Reviews of Matrix Reloaded and X2; musings on the essence of Cool

651.  Body of Proof and Mr. Sunshine (3/30/11)

640.  IN LIKE A LION (3/1/11) The Lion poems that bookmarked last year's 31 Days of Poetry are put together for the first time, revealing surprising clues

639.   BEST 2011 SUPER BOWL COMMERCIALS (2/7/11) YouTube videos of my favorite commercials from Super Bowl XLV

638.  SCRATCH THAT TV ITCH (2/7/11) Review of several new shows using a rhyming format

637.  GROUNDHOG DAY ANAGRAMS (2/2/11) Anagrams of the phrase "Groundhog Day"

636.  VIGIL (1/17/11) Poem about being shut out by someone you care about

635.  WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE (1/9/11) Poem about longing to be with her again

634.  WHEN I SAY YOUR NAME (12/20/10) Poem about reaching for Hope in the Darkness

633.  PSALM 30:5 - A REBUTTAL (12/20/10) Poem about a gloomy morning

632.  HARRY POTTER 7.0 (12/17/10) A look at all seven books in the Harry Potter series plus reviews of the 6th and 7th films

631.  THE ANGUISHED POETRY OF A TEENAGE GIRL (12/16/10) Hyperion gets a bit emotional

630.  SOPHIE'S CHOICE (TIMES INFINITY) (12/16/10) A truly gut-wrenching decision

629.  HEISMAN HYPOCRISY (12/11/10) The Heisman controversy surrounding Cam Newton

628.  HALLOWEEN MIXTAPES (10/31/10) Songs to listen to during your Halloween party

627.  PEACE (10/31/10) Poem about inner-turmoil

626.  LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (10/28/10) Possibly the best Vampire film ever made

625.  JONAH HEX (10/28/10) Movie Review

624.  RAWRY FEELS LEFT OUT (10/27/10) So as not to make him cry antagonize the dangerous beast, the best anagrams of "Thirty-One Days of Rawry"

623.  ANAGRAM WARR (10/26/10) Hilarious Anagrams for "Thirty-One Days of RAWR!"

622.  RAWRY (10/14/10) The 31 Days of RAWR! (and perhaps the entire Hyperion Empire) gets a new mascot who's very lovable rough and tough. 

621.  THIRTY-ONE DAYS OF RANT (10/4/10) Hyperion is upset at the TV viewing audience and the Executives who run the Networks

620.  MISNAMED (9/16/10) The most misnamed things in the Solar System

619.  TERRIERS (9/15/10) Review of FX show Terriers

618.  NIKITA (9/10/10) Review of CW show Nikita

617.  HELLCATS (9/9/10) Review of CW show Hellcats 

616.  MISS UNIVERSE (8/24/10) Who SHOULD have been the Miss Universe Finalists

615.  BREVE AMBESSA (8/32/10) Caps off the 31 Days of Poetry, can be considered a direct sequel to #582 (Anacuris Itare) which inspired the entire month

614.  LUNA ROSA (8/31/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

613.  FALLING STAR (8/30/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

612.  THE BALLAD OF DUSKY ROSE (8/29/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

611.  SPINNER'S TALE (8/28/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

610.  TRAVEL DOWN THAT ROAD (8/27/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

609.  LAMENTATION (8/26/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

608.  SORROW'S EMBRACE (V.0) (8/25/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

607.  AS LONG AS IT TAKES (8/24/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry (Guest)

606.  FLOOR MONSTERS (8/23/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

605.  THE RIDER (8/22/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

604.  I DON'T MIND YOUR DARKNESS (8/21/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

603.  IN THE GLOAMING (8/20/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry (Guest)

602.  MISSING BEAT (8/19/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

#601  WHAT I KNOW (TBD) A look back at columns #501 - 600

#501 - 600

600.  HIDDEN SCARS (8/18/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

599.  SHE WAS A PRINCESS TOO (8/17/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

598.  STUFFYS 4 LIFE! (8/16/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

597.  UNWOVEN TAPESTRY (8/15/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

596.  SWIRL (8/14/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

595.  BY THE TIME I GET TO PATAGONIA (8/13/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

594.  TOGETHER IN THE DARK (8/12/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

593.  ROSES ARE... (8/11/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

592.  FULL TIDE (8/10/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

591.  AVALANCHE (8/9/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

590.  BLOODSONG (8/8/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry (Guest)

589.  THOUGHTS OF HER WHILE DRIFTING TO SLEEP (8/7/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

588.  A SHADOW FALLS (8/6/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

587.  FALLING INTO DARKNESS (8/5/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry  (Guest)

586.  TAKE ME AWAY FROM EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT YOU (8/4/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

585.  INVOCATION (8/3/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

584.  FORBIDDEN COLORS (8/2/10) Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

583.  A WOMAN OF LONG AGO ME (8/1/10)  Part of the 31 Days of Poetry

582.  ANACRUSIS ITARE (7/30/10) Surrealist fever-dream poem of mysterious origin

581.  BARGAIN MATINÉE (7/30/10) Some ideas for a schlocky movie party

580.  SHOWER (7/27/10) Hyperion After Dark story about walk-in shower

579.  THE AFFAIR OF THE PUDDING AND THE SHIRT (7/26/10) Just like it sounds

578.  DREAMSONG (7/22/10) Ranking of the Best Songs with the word "Dream" in the title

577.  AFTER (7/8/10) Hyperion After Dark Story about cuddling up with a loved one

576.  HOW WOMEN ARE LIKE PIZZA (7/2/10) - Comparing the best food to the best....

575.  COLORS OF WAR (6/30/10) Short story about a woman waiting for her husband to come home from war

574.  ECLIPSING THE NEW MOON AT TWILIGHT (6/30/10) Review of all three Twilight movies

573.  KNIGHT AND DAY (6/29/10) Review of Tom Cruise Cameron Diaz Spy movie

572.  WAVES (6/26/10) Poem about patience

571.  DAYNIGHTFLIGHT (6/24/10) a poem to restore honor written in Iambic Hexedecameter

570.  BY THE GATE (6/17/10) Short poem about waiting for Love

569.  WORLD CUP FEVER (6/11/10) Hyperion explains Soccer to Americans

568,  IN THE STILLNESS (6/9/10) Thoughts that weigh on the mind in the stillness of the night

567.  BORN IN A GARDEN (6/8/10) Short poem about magic

566.  TELL ME WHY (6/7/10) Short Poem about heartbreak

565.  BACANIMALS (6/1/10) The best animal names to combine with bacon

564.  PREAKNESS NAMES (5/17/10) Best names of Preakness-winning Horses

563.  THE DRAGONSTONE (5/16/10)  Ancient story about the Fire in the center of the World

562.  REDRESS (5/10/10) a super-cool spy story from Hyperion After Dark

561.  IRON MAN 2 (5/7/10) Review of Iron Man 2

560.  IRON MAN ANAGRAMS (5/6/10)  Anagrams associated with Iron Man and various characters in the movie

559.  PICK A WINNER (5/2/10) Best names of Horses that won the Kentucky Derby

558.  NO TASTE FOR MY REIGN (4/26/10) Poem about the despair of trying and failing to rule

557.  SEEKING GRACE (4/11/10) Poem about Redemption written while watching Tiger Woods return to Golf at the Masters

556.  HALF-REMEMBERED DREAM (3/28/10) Short story on Hyperion After Dark

555.  GOLGOTHA (04/10/09) First-person account from Palm Sunday through Crucifixion

554.  SHADOW-LACED (04/07/10) 100-word story based on picture

553.  HER ELEGANCE IS BACK (02/14/10) Poem about the power and beauty of a woman's back

552.  HOLIDAY SURREALISM (1/30/10) Something I literally wrote in my sleep

551. ANGEL'S REFLECTION (1/17/10) Poem about an Angel

550.  STRAIN OF PASSION (1/26/10) Hyperion After Dark story about the bedroom as battlefield

549.  A SHADOW FALLS (1/9/10) Short Poem about the Darkness within

548.  GYPSY LIT (10/30/10) Short story about those crazy Gypsies

547. AR'KHARANI (10/20/09) Poem about Lady Warrior

546. THE SEASON OF MY MADNESS (11/02/09) Poem on Hyperion After Dark

545. SILKEN TENDRILS OF SMOKE (10/24/09) Poem on Hyperion After Dark

544. BROKEN-DOWN BENCH IN A CONCRETE GAZEBO (10/16/09) - Hyperion's adventure with a Gazebo

543. FALLEN INTO SHADOW (10/7/09) - Poem about grasping

542. IN SORROW'S EMBRACE (10/3/09) - Hyperion tries to write a song

541. DRAGONBER (9/1/09) - Hyperion cancels September 2009

540. SHIMMERING SADNESS (9/22/08) - Poem about Sadness; link goes directly to Literary Hype

539. MIRRORED DESIRE (7/29/09) - Poem about Desire; link goes directly to Literary Hype

538. PUNISHMENT/SALVATION (7/21/09) - Poem about Guilt; link goes directly to Literary Hype

537. MJ AND ME (7/8/09) - Thoughts on the Life (and passing) of Michael Jackson

536. BECAUSE LOATHING SHOULD RHYME (7/7/09) - Delirious Hyperion attempts poetry

535. CASHAROLE (5/25/09) - The Horrors of making Mac and Cheese

534. THE MOUNT RUSHMORE OF LAW and ORDER CHARACTERS (5/14/09) - If we were carving a Mt. Rushmore of characters from Law & Order, what four would we pick?

533. HAPPY 9AVERSARY (3/28/09) - Some thoughts on the Hyperion Institute's 9th Anniversary

532. MARCH WITH MADNESS IN YOUR HEART (3/15/09) - All about the NCAA Tournament (Originally for International_____Day)

531. MARCHING ORDERS (3/13/09) - Hyperion refuses to start the year until March!

530. FOR THE LOVE OF LENTILS (2/25/09) - What Hyperion Gave up for Lentils in 2009

529. LIVE OSCAR DIARY (2/22/09) - Hyperion's disastrous attempt to write a Live Oscar Diary

528. PIZZA PIZZA (2/9/09) - Review of new products from Pizza Hut and Domino's

527. NFL COGNOMEN (1/30/09) - Ranking the NFL Team Names (with help from Sparky Duck)

526. NIGHT VISIT (1/26/09) - Poem about Nocturnal Visitors

525. 25 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME YOU MAY NOT KNOW (1/26/09) - Just like it sounds

524. JUST ADD A SENTENCE (1/23/09) - Crazy story told a sentence at a time w/ Facebook Friends

523. THE CONTENT OF HIS CHARACTER (1/16/09) - My favorite MLK Quotes

522. SKINS (1/13/09) - Review of Skins, Season 1

521.  UNITED STATES OF TARA (1/16/09) - Review of new show

520. BARK OBAMA (1/12/09) - What kind of dog the new first family should pick and what it says about the President

519.  TALK TO ME; THE NUTS and BOLTS (1/15/10) - Outlining my plans to actually keep some of my goals.

518. KILL THE BCS! (1/8/09) Hyperion Absolutely HATES the way major college football determines a national champion

517. WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS? (1/7/09) Hyperion's Goals for the 34th Year of his Life

516. PARTY TIME (12/31/08) Guide to Celebrating Hyperion's Birth

515. REMEMBRANCE (11/11/08) Short Photo-Essay on Veteran's Day

514. PRETEND (11/08/08) Examination of Shelby Lynne's song "Pretend" [Link opens in Literary Hype]

513. OUR MAN RED (7/07/06) Story commissioned by a Reader [link goes to Literary Hype]

512. JOHN KEATS WAS A SICK TWISTED PERVERT (10/8/08) Analysis of a Keats Poem

511. THE VP DEBATE DRINKING GAME (10/2/08) Surviving the Vice-Presidential Debate

510. JULISTMAS WISH LIST (7/25/08) Things Hyperion wants for Christmas in July

509. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XXXIII (9/15/08) More Potpourri

508. SO IT COMES TO THIS....AGAIN (9/8/08) Column #8 with 2008 Comments added

507. RACE TO JUDGMENT (8/25/08) Analysis of Racism claims in the 2008 presidential election

506. EXECUTION ELOCUTION (7/23/08) Some people should die

505. MOVIE MATTERS IV (7/7/08) More Questions about Movies

504. MOVIE MATTERS III (9/13/07) More Questions about Movies

503. MOVIE MATTERS II (4/26/07) More Questions about Movies

502. MOVIE MATTERS (4/19/07) Questions about Movies

501. BEYOND BELIEF: THE INEXORABLE CREED OF HYPERION (9/19/08) A look back at #401-500

#401 - 500

500. SHARALASA (06/26/08) A tale of the Five Kingdoms

499. IN THE NIGHT (6/12/08) A short Hyperion After Dark story

498. SEVENTEEN SECONDS (6/4/08) Short Poem based on a picture

497. PRETTY HARD TO SWALLOW (5/26/08) Thoughts on Hillary Clinton's RFK gaffe

496. UPSIDE DOWN (5/21/08) Hyperion wishes his world would make sense again.

495. THE RIGHT LESSON (4/16/08) Thoughts on the one year anniversary of the Virginia Tech tragedy

494. THE DENUNCIATION GAME (3/13/08) Name calling in the presidential primaries

493. BATHROOM COFFEE (3/11/08) Review of three coffee table books

492. ECHO OF LIGHT (2/21/08) Thoughts on the lunar eclipse

491. SPECIAL VALENTINE'S POEM (2/14/08) just that

490. IRREPLACEABLE (2/8/08) Penetrating look at Beyonce's song

489. DANGEROUS AND DARING BOYS AND GIRLS (2/7/08) Review of two popular how-to books for kids

488. MEAL FIT FOR A KING (1/25/08) Questions of the Night with Carlos

487. DAN FOGELBERG (12/18/07) Thoughts on the passing of a singing legend

486. IT STARTS WITH SNOW (12/13/07) A heart-warming children's Christmas Story....(dun dun dun!)

485. PUTTING BABY IN A CORNER (11/30/07) Argument about Best Dance Scenes in Movies

484. RECONDITE (11/26/07) About my Brother

483. ICONOCLAST (11/16/07) Reaction to Entertainment Weekly/TV Land's 100 Greatest TV Icons

482. MEGACITIES (11/15/07) a look at trends in the largest cities in the world over the last 1000 years

481. QUICK MAIL BAG: SANDWICH TIME (11/14/07) Answering a few emails; establishing what constitutes a sandwich

480. LULLABY AND IMPLIED SANDWICH (11/12/07) My uncle's Surprise 50th Birthday Part, and sandwiches therein

479. HOW TO WRITE A STORY (11/05/07) An attempt to write a story that goes absolutely nowhere

478. WHERE THE BITCHES AT? (10/18/07) Thoughts on the Ellen Degeneres Dog Controversy

477. AN INCONVENIENT MORNING (10/12/07) Thoughts on Al Gore winning the Nobel Peace Prize

476. BIG BROTHER, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHERE THOU ART! (10/09/07) 2007 Guest Post #6 (Bear)

475. UNHOLY LOVE CHILD (10/05/07) What to Watch on the Weekend

474. YOU HAD TO BE A BIG SHOT (10/04/07) What to Watch on Thursdays

473. PUSHING DAISIES (10/03/07) What to Watch on Wednesdays

472. REAPER MADNESS (10/02/07) What to Watch on Tuesdays

471. CHUCKWAGON (10/01/07) What to Watch on Mondays (Fall 2007)

470. "OWEN" - A STORY OF OPPORTUNITY COST (09/28/07) 2007 Guest Post #5 (Bogart)

469. NINJA SPOONERCIZE (09/27/07) Guest Post #4 (Tracy Lynn)

468. THE HARRY POTTER IMPERATIVE (09/26/07) Guest Post #3 (Jonny)

467. THE WAY I SEE IT #265 (09/25/07) Guest Post #2 (Sea Hag)

466. PRIDE AND PREJUDICES (09/21/07) 2007 Guest Post #1 (Lady Jane Scarlett)

465. HYPERION DAY (8/26/07) Gifts I received for my name-day

464. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL? (8/24/07) All about my Fantasy Football experience

463. BEAR'S BASTARDS (08/22/07) Follow-up to 462, looking at the probability question another way

462. LET'S MAKE A DEAL (08/21/07) A look at a famous probability question

461. NAGASAKATUMI (08/09/07) How August 9 cost me $500

460. PIRATE METALLURGISTS (ORRRRRRRRRRE!) (08/04/07) Answers to the Trivia Questions plus explanation of our Team name

459. TEAM TRIVIA (08/03/07) Questions faced at Trivia

458. THE 100TH WORD (07/20/07) 100 word story based on a picture

457. DOGFIGHT (07/18/07) Thoughts on the Michael Vick dogfighting allegations and how they relate to race

456. THE DUMBLEDORKS (07/13/07) Hyperion's trip to Atlanta to eat dinner and watch the premiere of the new Harry Potter movie with friends

455. ARE YOU A god? ("SMALL g") (07/10/07) Quiz to determine if you are a god

454. HALF YEAR'S EVE (06/30/07) Hyperion throws a mid-year party, complete with a sexy story and picture

453. JACYNDRA (06/26/07) Carnivus tells another story, this time about Carnival Folk

452. SCREW THE AFI!!!!!!!!! (06/22/07) The American Film Institute's 10th Anniversary Edition, and Hyperion's less than charitable reaction to it

451. PRESENT-GATE (06/21/07) Explaining #450 to people who don't seem to know how to take a joke

46. FIGHTING THE LOSING BATTLE - REDUX (06/20/07) Column #46 with 2007 comments thrown in

450. THE S'PRINCIPLE (06/18/07) A tongue-in-cheek argument between Kaida and me

449. WITH APOLOGIES TO MISS RACHEL SHUSTER (SORTA) (06/13/07) Apologizing to Rachel Shuster, the collator of the USA Today list

448. BEYICULOUS (06/12/07) Rating USA Today's Top 25 Sports Moments of the past 25 Years

447. THE NIGHT SITS SOFTLY IN THE EARLY MORNING SKY (06/08/07) Attempts at Poetry

446. FIVE THINGS (06/06/07) Five things about Television of which I'm absolutely sure.

445. MAMA SAID I COULD (05/22/07) Story written in only an hour with help from my readers.

444. PANIC AT THE DISCO (04/24/07) Musical Lyrics analysis of one of their songs

443. PAN'S LABYRINTH - THE FAIRY TALE CONNECTION (04/10/07) More discussion on Pan's Labyrinth and Fairy Tales

442. SOCIOPATHIC CHRISTIANITY (04/06/07) How SOME Christians behave, and what the implications are.

441. NIAGARA (03/29/07) Steamy story written in honor of the seventh anniversary of the Hyperion Institute

440. INDEFINABLE (03/17/07) Birthday Tribute to my Dad

439. MOVIE MARATHON MEEKEND,TAKE 4 (03/14/07) Part 4 of my Movie Marathon

438. MOVIE MARATHON MEEKEND, TAKE 3 (03/08/07) Part 3 of my Movie Marathon

437. MOVIE MARATHON MEEKEND, TAKE 2 (03/02/07) Part 2 of my Movie Marathon

436. MOVIE MARATHON MEEKEND (03/02/07) The Tale of journey to see all five Best Picture Nominees at once

435. OSCAR DIARY (02/26/07) My running commentary on the 2007 Academy Awards

434. LISA, LENTILS AND LOVE (02/21/07) What I'm giving up for Lentils this year

433. HOMEMADE SIGNS (02/16/07) A chance encounter in an Intersection

432. LATE VALENTINES (02/16/07) Some Late Valentine's Shout Outs

431. DRIVING THEORIES (02/09/07) Hyperion finally gets an American Driver's License

430. WORDS THAT JUST BUG ME (01/26/07) Words that, well, just bug me

429. IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE HYPERION (01/23/07) Hyperion explains why he's been away so long

428. OLD LANG SYNE (12/31/06) A steamy New Year's Story

427. CHRISTMAS PRESENCE (12/25/06) A steamy Christmas story

426. SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN (12/24/06) A Kris Kringle Konspiracy

425. ASK HAT X (12/23/06) Christmas Ask Hat

424. ASK HAT IX (11/22/06) Thanksgiving Ask Hat

423. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ROBERT DE NIRO (11/20/06) Examination of the lat ten years of Robert De Niro's career

422. THE GHORRAL PART II (11/16/06) Second part of the story

421. THE GHORRAL PART I (11/15/06) First part of the story

420. JAMES HOWE (11/01/06) Reviews of Writer James Howe

419. THE HOUSE OF MOUSE (10/19/06) Rodent troubles at the Outlaw Camp

418. UMBRAE CANARUM (10/17/06) A very special Halloween story

417. DAYS OF THE EXILE (10/13/06) My first few days in Exile

416. PUT ME IN, COACH (10/16/06) My thoughts on the Detroit Tigers

415. SO LONG, FAREWELL AND AMEN (09/28/06) Hyperion goes into exile

414. SIT, LITTLE ANGEL GIRL (09/25/06) Short story based on painting

413. ASK HAT VIII (09/15/06) More Ask Hyperion and Tracy

412. AGONY (09/14/06) Short story based on painting

411 _________ (09/11/06) Five Year Tribute to 9/11

410. ASK HAT VII (09/01/06) More Ask Hyperion and Tracy

409. THE SINS OF THE FATHER (08/31/06) Ask Hyperion and Tracy

408. WORDS TO LIVE BY (08/29/06) More cool Semiotics

407. RETRO-MEME (08/28/006) Cool Semiotics

406 IT AIN'T EASY BEIN' 11 (08/27/06) My 11th Birthday

405. ASK HAT VI (08/25/06) More Ask Hyperion and Tracy

404. ASK H.A.T. V (8/18/06) More Ask Hyperion and Tracy

403. ASK H.A.T. IV (8/11/06) More Ask Hyperion and Tracy

402. ASK H.A.T. III (08/04/06) More Ask Hyperion and Tracy

401. THESE THINGS I BELIEVE (08/22/06) Recap of the last 100 columns

#301 - 400

400. THE STORM (05/01/07) Guest story so steamy we had to put it over on Hyperion After Dark

399. ASK H.A.T. (7/28/06) More Ask Hyperion and Tracy questions, including a name

398. UNMADE (7/26/06) Sexy story written from a painting

397. KISS MY ASK (7/21/06) The first Ask Hyperion and Tracy column

396. THE SOUND OF SILENCE (07/20/06) Being sick when you can't talk

395. "OUR MAN RED" (07/07/06) Carnivus story commissioned by a generous reader about a war 900 years ago

394. VICIOUS JACK (06/29/06) Carnivus story commissioned by a generous reader about two college roommates

393. THE JESUS DYNASTY (06/21/06) Review of the book "The Jesus Dynasty"

392. TO BLOG OR NOT TO BLOG (05/25/06) Hyperion gives up and gets a blog of his own

391. OH, WRETCHED MORTALS! (05/19/06) The controversy over The Da Vinci Code

390. MR. BUFFALO PART 3 - CAN I GET A LIGHT? (05/12/06) It's not a good idea to treat Hyperion like Manuel Noriega

389. MR. BUFFALO PART 2 - SEVEN DOLLAR WATER (05/11/06) Hyperion is asked to save Canada

388. MR. BUFFALO PART 1 - TO PEE OR NOT TO PEE (05/08/06) Ablutions in an airplane bathroom

387. THE WORSTEST/BESTEST BIRTHDAY EVER PART II (04/26/06) The end of a great birthday.

386. THE WORSTEST/BESTEST BIRTHDAY EVER PART I (04/25/06) The start of a very bad birthday.

385. BARRY (04/07/06) The dog I had when I was 12

384. REFLECTIONS ON DEATH AND THOSE WHO HAVE DEPARTED (04/06/06) Memories of my grandfather and ideas about dealing with death

383. WAR (SONGS), WHAT ARE THEY GOOD FOR? (3/29/06) Analysis of Anti-War music lyrics

382. OWLY (3/28/06) Review of comic book present "Owly"

381. THE TRAVELER (3/23/06) Review of the novel "The Traveler"

380. FLOWRS IN MY ATTIC (2/17/06) My attempt to send flowers

379. VALENTINE'S MEAL (2/14/06) Romantic stories for the Day

378. LOONY TOONS (2/10/06) Anger of the Mohammed Cartoons

377. THOSE WACKY PALESTINIANS (1/30/06) The Hamas Victory

376. HIT ME WITH THE TRUTH, HYPEY (1/20/06) Examination of Pop Music Lyrics

375. THE YEAR THAT WAS (12/31/05) A look back at 2005

374. CHILD WITH NO NAME (12/23/05) Christmas story for 2005

373. EVERGREEN VILLAGE (12/20/05) A delightful Christmas town

372. A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE (12/18/05) Launching The Hyperion Chronicles website and explaining email nofication

371. THE RISE OF CHARLIE DROP (12/09/05) A book review (my first) of a book by the same name.

370. POLITICAL SCANDALS (11/23/05) Looking into two-term presidents)

369. HALLOWEEN RUINION (10/31/05) 2005’s Halloween stories

368. CHANGING HORSES IN MIDSTREAM (10/18/05) How guilty people act when caught

367. A MALL AND THE HYPE VISITOR (09/26/05) My trip to the mall

366. WHAT EVEN PIRATES FEAR (08/29/05) Third part of the Carnivus story The Great Hunt

365. THE PIRATE TROLL (08/19/05) Second part of the Carnivus story The Great Hunt

364. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN…. CARNY (08/12/05) First part of the Carnivus story The Great Hunt

363. QUINCY (07/29/05) A tribute to Quincy

362. “…MUCH WORSE THAN HARRY” (07/15/05) A Parody of the Harry Potter backlash

361. GALACTIC SLURPEES (07/13/05) Brand new colors and searching for a comet

360. BLISTER (07/07/05) A short story (which later fits into the Fagin Dupree saga)

359. THE SINS OF TOM CRUISE (06/30/05) Examining the backlash against Tom Cruise

358. THE INTERNET PARADOX (06/24/05) The History of the Internet and the emotional challenges it presents

357. “MAN, I HATE WEDNESDAYS” (06/20/05) Chapter Eight in Fagin Dupree

356. A STONE’S THROW FROM ROCK BOTTOM (06/08/05) Chapter Seven in Fagin Dupree

355. ALL IN (06/06/05) Chapter Six in Fagin Dupree

354. ANOTHER BAG O’ MAIL (05/31/05) More reader mail and launch of web site

353. MTFBWY (05/19/05) Hyperion’s thoughts on the Star Wars saga

352. BOTH BARRELS (05/12/05) Hyperion’s thoughts on sexual abuse

351. THE BLUE PARROT (05/04/05) Chapter Five in Fagin Dupree

350. THE GIRL WHO CRIED LOBO (05/02/05) What to do with the Jennifer Wilbanks situation

349. DRUNKEN DILEMMAS (04/26/05) What to do with obnoxious drunk people

348. CHAPTER FOUR (04/19/05) Chapter Four of Fagin Dupree

347. THE QUESTION MATRIX (04/15/05) Questions designed to get to know people

346. MR. GALLAGHER (04/08/04) Hyperion reveals that the last column was an April Fools’ joke, and why up until recently he didn’t play them

345. SUCH SWEET SORROW (04/01/05) Hyperion quits writing the column

344. CHAPTER THREE (03/290/05) Chapter Three of Fagin Dupree

343. DYING FOR THE RIGHT (03/22/05) Examination into the right to die

342. MEMORY OF A DAY (03/18/05) Reflections on the first day of the NCAA tournament and my dad’s birthday

341. THERE ARE SOME CRIMINALS…(03/02/05)Chapter Two of Fagin Dupree

340. OSCARS WILD (02/25/05) Oscar Predictions

339. GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER? (02/16/05) Restaurant questions about who you’d invite for dinner

338. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XXXII (02/11/05)More Potpourri

337. NANOWRIMO AND A BIG CLIFF (02/07/05) The first chapter of my year-long Fagin Dupree story

336. FIDES EXSEQUOR (01/31/05) The mystery of Poe revealed

335. KNAVE THAT I AM (01/28/05) Slight hitch in plans to reveal Poe mystery

334. A TELL-TALE BIRTHDAY (01/25/05) Laying the groundwork for theories on Poe

333. 33 POTPOURRI, VOLUME XXXI (01/20/05) More Potpourri

332. MOTTO O’ THE YEAR (01/18/05) Motto for 2005

331. WATCH THIS (01/07/05) Television shows people should watch

330. HOMELESS FOR THE HOLIDAYS (12/24/04)My Christmas from two years ago

329. CAR-LIONS, RAMPAGING SNOWMEN, AND THE T. O. D. (12/17/04) Events transpiring around the house while I’m injured

328. REVERSE POOL VULTURES (11/28/04) My first trip to the pool

327. ACHMED (11/25/04)All about my brother

326. THANKSGIVING EXTRAVABONANZA (11/23/04) Recap of past Thanksgiving columns, as well as some new stuff

325. THE DREAM FADES (11/19/04) I concede the Presidential election

324. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XXX (11/15/04) More Potpourri

323. MY TURN TO BE SCARY (10/29/04) My Halloween stories for the year

322. MY READERS SCARE ME (10/27/04) Readers send in their Halloween stories

321. SHOW ME THE MONEY (10/22/04) My fiscal policy for the country

320. EDUMACATION AND THE “LESSER EVIL” FALLACY (10/20/04) My Education policy

319. TO DO LIST (10/18/04) More plans for my presidency

318. READ OR READ NOT (10/01/04) More plans for my presidency

317. EMBRACE THE PAIN (09/27/04) Using my physical pain to make emotional point

316. ROUND 4 (09/16/04) More plans for my presidency

315. GOING ON A LION HUNT (09/08/04) Another Carnivus story about 21 years ago

314. YET ANOTHER MAIL BAG (09/02/04) I answer more Reader questions

313. THE CHICAGO WAY (08/31/04) How I would deal with terrorists

312. WHAT’S IN A NAME? (08/26/04) Explanation of the origins of “Hyperion”

311. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XXIX (08/23/04) More Potpourri

310. ADVENTURES WITH SEA-HAG (08/19/04) Just like it sounds

309. TELL ME A STORY (08/17/04) Four different people are asked to complete a picture

308. WELCOME TO MY WORLD (08/16/04) What it’s like to be crazy like me

307. THE FIELD (08/10/04) Story about a famous field

306. MOVING DAYS (08/04/04) Thoughts on moving

305. PULLUS SILEX ARCIS (07/22/04) More adventures with Tav, the elf

304. JUST LIE DOCTRINE (06/25/04) How some justify lying to the people

303. S.I.U.-W.I.O. -&. G.O.I. (06/22/04) Motto of 2004

302. A LIFE REMEMBERED (06/11/04) Thoughts on the passing of Ronald Reagan

301. I BELIEVE: THE CREED CONTINUES (07/07/04) Recap of the last 100 columns

#101 - 300

300. THE WALL (05/30/04) My entry in the Power of Purpose Awards

299. MAIL BAG THREE (05/06/04) I answer reader questions

298.5. TRILOGY (05/03/04) A love story

298. TIME^3 (04/30/04) Ruminations on the meaning of time

297. THE HYPERIONIC CODE (SECTION II) (04/26/04) More things I believe in

296. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XXVIII (04/21/04) More Potpourri

295. IF I RULED {ROUND 2} (04/18/04) More of my presidential plans

294. THE RETURN OF CARNIVUS (04/06/04) Carny tells another story

293. CLAUSTROPHOBIC (04/12/04) A crowded brain

292. TRIGINTIA ARGENTEOS (04/08/04) Alternate theory on Judas

291. THE PIG AND THE PULCHRITUDE (03/31/04) An Evening with Aslan at Earl’s, and the discovery of TAF

290. SOFTLY FALLING PETALS (03/29/04) Ruminations on flowers

289. GLOBETROTTER (03/16/04) Various problems around the world

288. IF I LED {ROUND 1} (03/13/04)Plans for my presidency

287. THE INSTITUTE (03/10/04) My plan for the Hyperion Institute

286. “THIS” IS COURAGE (03/07/04) Exposing the Magic Pygmy Rabbit Conspiracy

285. LARGE BEAUTIFUL MEN OF THE WORLD, UNITE! (03/03/04) Announcing my candidacy for President

284. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XXVII (03/01/04) Still More potpourri

283. AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT (02/27/04) Promised column to reader who brought in most new readers

282. SOMETHING OSCAR THIS WAY COMES (02/25/04) A look at the five Best Picture Nominees and a defense of movies

281. YOU, TOO CAN WIN YOUR OFFICE POOL (02/21/04) Oscar Predictions

280. SHE DONE HIM WRONG (02/20/04) Barbie dumps Ken

279. THE BEAUTY OF SADNESS (02/18/04) Sad doesn’t equal bad

278. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XXVI (02/16/04) More Potpourri

277. A TALE OF TWO TITTIES (02/04/04) The Janet Jackson “Wardrobe Malfunction” aftermath

276. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XXV (01/28/04) More Potpourri

275. MUCH THANKS (01/23/04) One-size-fits-all Thank you note

274. THE PASSION OF SUFFERING (01/21/04) Review and discussion of THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST

273. THE (LONG OVERDUE) RETURN OF THE KING (01/16/04) Explanation as to why I’ve been away, and answers to Mail bag questions

172. SOAPBOX DERBY (11/08/03) My existential crisis about what to do when values conflicted

171. THE HOODY AWARDS (11/03/04) The audience weighs in on their TV picks

170. MUDDY WATER (10/31/03) Two Halloween stories (later addended with 170. 14159, with an additional story, resent on October 25, 2004)

169. XXIV (10/29/03) Review of 24 and more potpourri

168. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XXIII (10/27/03) More potpourri

167. TV6: IN A WORD (10/22/03) Question of whether TV is immoral and review of Skin

166. WORLD GONE MAD (10/17/03) Reaction to fall-out from the Chicago Cubs/Bartman incident

165. TV5: SECOND BANANA AND OTHER THEORIES (10/15/03) Theories of how Television works

164. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XXII (10/10/03) More potpourri

163. HYPERION SAYS (4) (10/08/03) More issues in the News and what Hyperion thinks of them

160. TV3: THE NOMINATIONS PLEASE (10/01/03) Nominations for my first annual TV Hoody Awards

159. TV2: RECOMMENDATIONS AND EXPLANATIONS FOR THE PATIENT HYPERION NATION (10/01/03) Recommendations for the 2003 TV season

158. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XXI (09/28/03) More potpourri

157. TV 1: LET THERE BE SHOWS (09/25/03) First in a series on television
156. A DAY IN THE LIFE (09/22/03) A bad day

155. ANSWER MY RIDDLES THREE (09/19/03) I ask riddles

154. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XX (09/17/03) More potpourri

153. BATTLE HYMN (09/15/03) Why I don't sing certain songs

152. APPLES OF GOLD (09/12/03) A critique of empty literature

151. MAIL BAG (09/09/03) I answer some of my most frequently asked questions.

150. TROLL STORY (09/04/03) Guest column by my troll friend Carnivus Kickassius

149. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XIX (09/02/03) More potpourri

148. THE 10 SUGGESTIONS (08/29/03) What I think about the 10 Commandments' statue controversy

147. POTPOURRI, VOLUME MDCLXVIII (08/29/03) More potpourri

146. THE BUSINESS OF DEATH (08/26/03) What I hate about the Death Care Industry

145. CRYSTAL BALLS (08/21/03) Third and final set of predictions

144. MORE PROGNOSTICATIONS FROM THE MOUNT (08/20/03) More Predictions for the future

143. THE ART OF PROGNOSTICATION (08/18/03) Predictions for the future

142. HYPERION SAYS (3) (08/15/03) More issues in the news and what Hyperion thinks of them

141. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XVII (08/08/03) More potpourri

140. EXITUS TERRARUM (07/31/03) Why I decided not to destroy the world

139. MOVIES VI: A TO Z AND OVER AND OUT (07/29/03) More of the Readers' picks; this time by letter

138. MOVIES V: THE RESULTS ARE IN (07/29/03) The Reader's movie picks


136. HYPERION SAYS (2) (07/21/03) More issues in the news and what Hyperion thinks of them

135. THE SOUND OF NO HANDS CLAPPING AND OTHER MEDITATIONS (07/16/03) Musings on a bee, collective unconscious, and the Japanese term ma

134. MOVIES IV: LET THE HOLY WARS BEGIN (07/10/03) How people watch movies, in their homes and at the theatre

133. HISTORY 101: STRANGER THAN FICTION (07/07/03) Interesting American historical tidbits

132. HULK (06/20/03) My review of the movie Hulk

131. INTERACTIVITY, NINJA STYLE (YOU KNOW HOW WE DO IT) (06/18/03) Interactive potpourri

130. SIX WHITE STRIPES. . . (06/14/03) A look at flag burning

129. RECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES (06/10/03) What to do when someone you care about is mad at you but you're not wrong

128. MARTHA MARTHA MARTHA (O6/06/03) Martha Stewart's legal troubles

127. MOVIES III: COMING SOON TO A THEATRE NEAR YOU (06/03/03) A look at movie previews

126. MOVIES II: BACK TO BASICS (06/02/03) Part II of movie series; looking at what makes a good movie

125. BEATING UP SUPER MARIO (05/30/03) Guest column; response to Washington State law fining store owners for selling violent games to kids

124. THE ALVY AWARDS (O5/28/03) Awards for unheralded inventions

123. ALL WOMEN ARE MARTYRS (O5/26/03) Controversial Sociological theory

122. HYPERION SAYS (05/23/03) A look at things in the news and what Hyperion thinks about them

121. MOVIES I: IT'S ALL HOW YOU LOOK AT IT (05/16/03) Part I in look at movies, dealing with movie review system

120. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XVI (O5/05/03) More potpourri

119. THREE MONKEYS, TEN MINUTES (05/02/03) How I write a column, launching Hyperion X, and apologizing for everything everywhere

118. WEDDINGS IIIB: DIGNIFIED YETI (04/29/03) My experience at Ajax's wedding

117. WEDDINGS IIIA: TYRANNOSAURUS PENGUIN (04/28/03) My experience at Koz's wedding

116. WEDDINGS II: THE SEARCH FOR THE 13TH LETTER (04/25/03) Preparations for weddings

115. WEDDINGS I: NOBLE BEGGING (04/22/03) A look at wedding proposals

114. ONE GAVE ALL (04/18/03) Jesus's experience on the cross

113. THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER (04/15/03) The difference between truth and fact

112. BY THE LIGHT OF THE MOON (04/13/03) A walk alone at night with unexpected results

111. THE MASTERS (04/09/03) The controversy about Augusta not letting in women

110. THE THERMOS THEORY (04/07/03) What powers the Universe

109. LICENSE TO DRIVE (04/03/03) The time I stole a car

108. RULES OF WAR (04/02/03) Geneva Conventions

107. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XV (03/30/03) More potpourri

106. QUESTIONING WAR (PART II) (03/27/03) More answers to questions surrounding the war in Iraq

105. QUESTIONING WAR (PART I) (03/26/03) Answers to questions surrounding the war in Iraq 

104. THE LIGHTER SIDE OF WAR (03/25/03) Funny things I've noticed in the war with Iraq

103. IF I CONTROLLED OSCAR (03/22/03) My Oscar Analysis

102. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XIV (03/04/03) More potpourri

101. I BELIEVE: THE CREED OF HYPERION (02/28/03) Recap of the first 100 columns


100. I'VE GOT YOUR NUMBER (02/26/03) The historical significance of numbers

99. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XIII (02/21/03) More potpourri

98. WAR OF WORDS (II) (02/19/02) My argument for going to war against Iraq

97. WAR OF WORDS (I) (02/19/03) My friend Kevin's argument against going to war with Iraq

96. 2/14: THE UN-HOLIDAY (02/14/03) Valentine's for the lonely

95. INSPIRED BY IGNORANCE (02/14/03) The right to remain stupid

94. MISERY LOVES COMPANY (AND EASY LISTENING) (02/12/14) Why some people want to be miserable

93. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XII (02/10/03) More potpourri

92. THE HYPERIONIC CODE (SECTION I) (02/07/03) Things I believe in

91. FLASHBULB MEMORY (02/03/03) Memories imprinted in our brain

90. POTPOURRI, VOLUME XI (01/29/03) More potpourri

89. YOU MAKE THE CALL (01/27/03) Things I want changed in sports

88. BY THE ANCIENT LAW (01/23/03) A trip I took to McDonalds

87. POTPOURRI, VOLUME X (01/16/03) More potpourri

86. FOR CHRIST'S SAKE (12/24/02) What Jesus would do if he were here

85. CHRISTMAS TREE MEMORIES (12/24/02) Memories involving Xmas

84. THERE ART THOU HAPPY (12/23/02) Reminder of what we have to be grateful for rather than complain about

83. POTPOURRI, VOLUME IX (12/16/02) More Potpourri

82. . . AND THE DISH RAN AWAY WITH THE SPOON (12/13/02) Musings on why humans don't fly

81. ADVENTURES IN CLEANING (12/09/02) Cleaning memories

79. THANKSGIVING II (HYPERION STYLE) (11/27/02) Things I'm thankful for

78. THANKSGIVING MOVIE PREVIEW (11/26/02) Review of movies in theaters and some videos to rent

77. ONE LAST THING BEFORE I GO (11/19/02) Conversation with Robert about last things to do before dying

76. TO BE OR NOT TO BE (10/06/02) Analysis of what being gay means

75. POTPOURRI, VOLUME VII (10/04/02) More Potpourri

74. ONE YEAR LATER (09/11/02) Criticism of Media coverage of 9/11 anniversary

73. CUT OF THE SAME CLOTH (02/27/02) Catholic Priest scandal

72. DON'T GET BURNED BY THE OLYMPIC FLAME (02/24/02) Analysis of Winter Olympics and the skating controversy

71. RAISE YOUR GLASSES WITH ME (12/25/01) Christmas toast to troops overseas

70. LIFE LESSONS FROM HOLIDAY MOVIES (11/25/01) Life lessons from holiday movies

69. MAKES ME WANNA HOLLER (11/23/01) Things that make me mad

68. AMERICA AT WAR: A FAIRY TALE (10/18/01) Part 2 of fairy tale

67. AMERICA AT WAR: A FAIRY TALE (10/18/01) A humorous look at the history of American war

66. THE GREAT SITCOM DEBATE (10/09/01) Ranking the sitcoms

65. WAR, WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? (10/11/01) Response to anti-war protestors about what happened with Neville Chamberlain and Germany

64. AMERICA'S NEW WAR: AN ANALYSIS (09/22/01) Part 2 of analysis

63. AMERICA'S NEW WAR: AN ANALYSIS (09/21/01) Part 1 of analyzing America's new war on terrorism

62. A MODEST PROPOSAL (09/15/01) Proposal to give passengers of Flight #93 Congressional Medal of Honor

61. IN REMEMBRANCE (09/13/01) Auden poem to convey sadness over September 11

60. LAND OF THE FREE (09/10/01) How we got our country through terrorism

59. WE (09/08/01) The people we marginalize in society

58. POTPOURRI, VOLUME VI (09/06/01) More potpourri

57. THINGS I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO TELL YOU (09/06/01) Etiquette people should know but apparently don't

56. DRIVING MYSELF CRAZY, PART 2 (08/28/01) Part 2 of that story

55. DRIVING MYSELF CRAZY, PART 1 (08/28/01) Part 1 of my story about getting my license renewed and tickets paid for

54. POTPOURRI, VOLUME V (08/14/01) More potpourri

53. A CIVICS LESSON (08/02/01) The life of boxer Jack Johnson

52. THE JOY, AND THE SORROW (07/30/01) Both sides of good and bad events in my life

51. BEWARE THE Q-TIP! (06/29/01) My adventures with a Q-tip

50. POTPOURRI, VOLUME IV (06/27/01) More potpourri

49. TRAGEDY (06/24/01) analysis of the Andrea Yates case

48. POTPOURRI, VOLUME III (06/22/01) More potpourri

47. LOVE STORY (06/12/01) Love Story movie makes me realize how important family is

46. FIGHTING THE LOSING BATTLE (06/09/01) Things I wish would happen but probably won't

45. LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION! (06/08/01) Should McVeigh's execution be televised?

44. CARS: FRIEND OR FOE? (06/07/01) Ed and I debate what to do with cars

43. HOME AGAIN, HOME AGAIN (06/05/01) My trip to Ohio to visit my parents

42. NEVER FORGET PEARL HARBOR (06/01/01) Mini-review of movie and indictment on Roosevelt's role in the attack

41. RITES OF PASSAGE (05/04/01) What it sounds like

40. TIMOTHY MCVEIGH PART 2: CAN A MONSTER SPEAK THE TRUTH? (05/11/01) Examining McVeigh's own words to see if truth exists there

39. TIMOTHY MCVEIGH: HERO OR TRAITOR? (05/04/01) Part 1 of 4 columns on Timothy McVeigh, and the death penalty in general. This one examines if McVeigh acted alone

38. TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME (05/04/01) Lessons learned at a baseball game

37. SOCIAL OBLIGATIONS (04/29/01) An evening with Bear over dinner

36. AN UNEXPECTED LESSON (04/19/01) The girl at the Tom Green movie

35. IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WAS MONEY (04/17/01) Movie prequels I'd like to see

34. IT'S A MAD MAD MAD MAD COW (04/12/01) Farce about cows taking over the world

33. CAIN AND ABEL: AN EASTER STORY (04/15/01) Connecting the Adam and Eve and Cain and Abel Stories in a new way

32. WHY WON'T CHINA BACK DOWN (04/09/01) Analysis of the US/China spy plane standoff

31. POTPOURRI, VOLUME II (03/30/01) More Potpourri

30. POTPOURRI, VOLUME I (03/29/01) Items not big enough to warrant their own column

29. MY AWARD CEREMONY HAS A FIRST NAME (03/25/01) My take on the five 2000 Best Picture Nominees

28. A NOTE OF THANKS ON THIS ANNIVERSARY (03/17/01) A tribute to my father on his birthday

27. A DUBIOUS AND QUESTIONABLE ATTEMPT TO SHARE WITH THE AUDIENCE (03/?/01) Top 10 signs you may be depressed

26. XXXXX, OR L, IF YOU WANT TO BE PICKY (02/24/01) A tribute to my mother on her birthday

25. VALENTINE'S DAY MASSACRE, PART 2 (02/17/01) More Valentine's Day thoughts

24. LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES (02/16/01) Part 1 of thoughts while watching TV alone on Valentine's Day

23. THE KEY TO VICTORY (02/05/01) Advice for succeeding in life

22. HAPPY BIRTHDAY (12/24/00) The life of Jesus from another perspective

21. MORE HOLIDAY FUN (12/19/00) Addresses the furor over Santa Claus column and offers new carols to sing as appeasement

20. A FEW MODEST PROPOSALS (12/16/00) A few ideas for Bush to implement in his first few weeks in office

19. TIS THE SEASON (12/15/00) The connection between Santa Claus and Jesus

18. OPEN LETTER TO ALL GORE + WORDS I NEVER WANT TO HEAR AGAIN (12/14/00) Advice to Al Gore after he was declared the loser of the election and words I don't want to hear again after the election

17. AN OPEN LETTER TO GEORGE BUSH (12/14/00) Advice to Bush after he was declared the winner

16. SHE'S STILL UGLY: KEEP DRINKING (12/10/00) A conversation with Tito on the way to gamble at an Indian Casino



13. GRATITUDE ATTITUDE(11/30/00) Reminding people to express their thanks to family and friends

12. THANKSGIVING, HYPERION STYLE (YOU KNOW HOW WE DO IT) (11/20/00) First bi-annual Thanksgiving column

11. TOMATO, TOMAHTO; LET'S CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF (11/12/00) Suggestions for unimportant things

10. IT'S TIME TO GIVE A CHECKERS SPEECH (11/09/00) Analysis of the '00 presidential election during the disputed Florida recount

9. 54-40, AND I'M JUST GETTING STARTED (11/03/00) Hyperion's '00 Presidential Platform

8. SO IT COMES TO THIS (10/18/00) Hyperion throws his hat in the 2000 Presidential Election ring

7. DO AS I SAY AND NO ONE GETS HURT (05/07/00) Codification of unwritten rules

6. SO I CAN CLEARLY NOT CHOOSE THE GLASS IN FRONT OF ME (04/29/00) A look at what makes something eternally funny

5. AND THE HORSE ON WHICH YOU RODE IN (04/27/00) Alternative swear words

4. BETTER TO TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE SUN (04/25/00) Everything mankind knows about women

3. I THINK I SAW SOME DOUGHNUTS ABOUT A MILE BACK (04/16/00) Top 10 things not to say when pulled over by a cop

2. WE HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR BUT BARBRA STREISAND (04/04/00) A look at misquotations throughout history

1. EXCITING INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITIES (03/28/00) A critique of mandatory helmet and seatbelt laws

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