the Hyperion Chronicles
“I’m Frickin’ Articulate!”
#142 Hyperion Says (3)
Editor’s Note: To shake things up a bit, I had my Good and Bad Angels help me write this, so you’ll get two perspectives for the price of one.
Darkness Falls Across the Land
Probably everyone knows about the huge blackout that affected the Eastern parts of the U.S. and Canada yesterday, shutting down businesses, mass transit, and basically calling a halt to life for tens of millions of people. At first, people feared the worst, although President Bush was quick to rule out terrorism as a possible cause; although one wonders if he would have said the same no matter what, just to calm fears. For the most part, people were calm and orderly, with no reported looting, and many people were reminded of the great Blackout of 1965, which ironically happened November 9th that year. (Okay, it’s not ironic at all, but that’s just the sort of stupid thing you’ll hear on the news). Some experts are predicting a spike in the birth rate 9 months from now.
Hyperion Says First of all, that whole birth rate thing is an urban legend, so don’t go spreading that around. Second, do you get the idea the media was just a tad disappointed that this wasn’t a major evil event, so they could get out of the August doldrums, trot out the theme music, and go into wall-to-wall coverage? On a happier note, it was nice to see people were calm in the face of a major inconvenience, and handled it as best they could. I am very thankful that wasn’t me caught up in one of those monster traffic jams for hours.
On The Other Hand When it comes right down to it, those people have a ready-made excuse for everything from being late for work, to seeing their wives, or whatever. What are they complaining about? It’s people like me who suffered so much. I had Barry Bonds in my Fantasy Baseball League, and because his Giants’ game was cancelled with the Mets, I’ll never get those points back. I also had the draft to my Fantasy Football League screwed up, not to mention Everybody Loves Raymond was postponed for news coverage. I mean, where’s my Blackout-Aid concert?
It’s a Virus! No, it’s a Worm! No, it’s just really Freaking annoying.
Starting off a busy week for major hassles, many of you experienced the “Blaster” virus this week. The virus (which is technically a worm), was first publicized by Microsoft last month, but didn’t start getting public traction until early this week, and by midweek anywhere from 1-2 million people got the worm, with another 200 million at risk, since it attacks computers through the internet and not through a sent file like a “normal” virus. Once the worm became well known, fixes became readily available, but fears continue about how vulnerable computer users are to attack.
Hyperion Says I can understand why someone would kill—even if I can’t condone it. I can even comprehend the twisted mind of someone who would rape, though I favor the death penalty for those people. But will somebody tell me what in Yoda’s name is the point of making a virus like this? There is no profit in it that I can see, and while I suppose the hackers got some attention, it’s all anonymous. I got caught on this at the beginning, when no one knew what it was. I had Hyperion Institute members Laureate and Koz working ‘round the clock to try to help, as well as computer expert friend Cartwright offering suggestions, and it took 13 different virus scanners before we found one that worked.
When it first started, I thought it was something just screwed up on my computer (the way it works is that Windows continually shuts down, and the worm looks like a Windows Message), and I was afraid I’d lose all of my data. I can’t go through that again.
Even after it was clear that there wasn’t any lasting damage, my computer would still start over every 3-5 minutes, and it became like a Chinese Torture as I would log on and worry when it would hit, only to get my hopes up every time I’d make it past 5 minutes, and then have them cruelly dashed again.
On The Other Hand It didn’t turn out nearly as badly as I thought. After those first dark 24 hours the worm became well known, and after that it was only a matter of time until we could find the best solution. I also had friends helping me out, which made me feel good, and I ended up losing nothing, which was fantastic.
The most surprising thing, though, is that I learned the value of a minute. The way the worm worked was, when Windows would shut down, it would give you 60 seconds to save everything. At first I panicked, but soon I learned that a minute is a very long time, and if you’re calm, you can get all your documents and pages saved, and dash off several short notes to whomever you need to. In a weird way, I’m glad I actually had that experience. In fact, I wrote this entire section in only 60 seco
West Palm Beach County and Pandora are snickering right now
The great California Governor Recall is the talk of the land. At last count, anywhere from 135 to 247 candidates could be on the ballot of the October 7 Recall, due to a loophole that allowed anyone with $3500 and 60 signatures to run. The mammoth slate has prompted the State Election Office to hold a lottery to redo the alphabet, so that everyone would have a chance to be first on the ballot (coincidentally, many voters select the first name listed). The new alphabet will start with R-W-Q-O-J-M-V-A and eventually end with L. there has even been a game show started called, “Who wants to be Governor?”
Hyperion Says What a mess. On all sides. This Recall is going to be so unwieldy as to make the 2000 Presidential election look like German efficiency. Mark my words, lawsuits will come from it, and they will be fighting it out for years. But don’t blame the guy who initiated it (who now isn’t even running). If Governor Gray Davis hadn’t done such a terrible job, this never would have come up. Finally, Californians deserve much of the blame for allowing this kind of law into use.
On The Other Hand This is democracy, one way or another. People get the government they deserve, and Californians wanted this. Yes, it’s a circus, and yes, it’s a bit unseemly, but hey: it’s still going to be freer than anything else the world has ever come up with, and that’s saying something.
And while I’m on my soapbox, most of you know that Arnold Schwarzenegger is the main candidate, along with a host of other celebrities, including Gary Coleman of Different Strokes fame. I don’t know if the pint-sized Arnold or the big one would make good governors, but it pisses me off to hear these pundits dismiss them so thoroughly. Hey, bozos: it’s not like career politician Gray Davis was doing any good. I don’t think someone should be governor—or any other office—just because they are a celebrity. But neither should that automatically disqualify them (the cast of Full House excluded). What should rule these type of situations is the ideas and plans the people have, not the time they’ve spent on the public dole OR their fame and fortune.
Critics really Gigli hate this movie (those words are supposed to rhyme)
Speaking of people jumping all over something, Critics have been having a field day with the new Jennifer Lopez/Ben Affleck movie, Gigli, calling the film terribly acted, saying the stars have no chemistry, and basically tearing it to shreds. These opinions have been borne out (or possibly helped cause) by the dismal box office showing for the 57-million dollar production, which will likely go down as one of the biggest flops in Hollywood history.
Hyperion Says People need to get a life. I was not interested in Gigli, haven’t seen it, and don’t plan to, but I seriously doubt it’s the worst movie ever made. Besides, while I’m sure it’s not a champion (even Affleck admits it doesn’t work), I’m cynical about the so-called critics, because as I see it, they have been lying in wait for months, ready to savage the picture. What is it about America that makes people so ready to tear down people who are successful? These two aren’t even all that obnoxious, at least relatively speaking, to all the other Hollywood stars. Why do people take such delight in ripping things to shreds like this movie? There are plenty of bad movies out there, and chances are your favorite star or director has made one too (*batteries not included, we hardly knew ye). Until you’ve actually done something with your life, try not to make your career destroying others.
On The Other Hand My understanding is that Jennifer Lopez is not naked in this movie, so I don’t have a lot of sympathy for them. And c’mon: was Gigli (rhymes with really. No, it really does) the best they could come up with? That alone hurts terribly. They at least could have called it, Bennifer: the Movie.
Hyperion
August 15, 2003
Credits
Thanks to Cartwright and Laureate for computer help
Special thanks to Koz for help getting my computer back and editing this
@2003 the Hyperion Chronicles
“I’m Frickin’ Articulate!”
#142 Hyperion Says (3)
Editor’s Note: To shake things up a bit, I had my Good and Bad Angels help me write this, so you’ll get two perspectives for the price of one.
Darkness Falls Across the Land
Probably everyone knows about the huge blackout that affected the Eastern parts of the U.S. and Canada yesterday, shutting down businesses, mass transit, and basically calling a halt to life for tens of millions of people. At first, people feared the worst, although President Bush was quick to rule out terrorism as a possible cause; although one wonders if he would have said the same no matter what, just to calm fears. For the most part, people were calm and orderly, with no reported looting, and many people were reminded of the great Blackout of 1965, which ironically happened November 9th that year. (Okay, it’s not ironic at all, but that’s just the sort of stupid thing you’ll hear on the news). Some experts are predicting a spike in the birth rate 9 months from now.
Hyperion Says First of all, that whole birth rate thing is an urban legend, so don’t go spreading that around. Second, do you get the idea the media was just a tad disappointed that this wasn’t a major evil event, so they could get out of the August doldrums, trot out the theme music, and go into wall-to-wall coverage? On a happier note, it was nice to see people were calm in the face of a major inconvenience, and handled it as best they could. I am very thankful that wasn’t me caught up in one of those monster traffic jams for hours.
On The Other Hand When it comes right down to it, those people have a ready-made excuse for everything from being late for work, to seeing their wives, or whatever. What are they complaining about? It’s people like me who suffered so much. I had Barry Bonds in my Fantasy Baseball League, and because his Giants’ game was cancelled with the Mets, I’ll never get those points back. I also had the draft to my Fantasy Football League screwed up, not to mention Everybody Loves Raymond was postponed for news coverage. I mean, where’s my Blackout-Aid concert?
It’s a Virus! No, it’s a Worm! No, it’s just really Freaking annoying.
Starting off a busy week for major hassles, many of you experienced the “Blaster” virus this week. The virus (which is technically a worm), was first publicized by Microsoft last month, but didn’t start getting public traction until early this week, and by midweek anywhere from 1-2 million people got the worm, with another 200 million at risk, since it attacks computers through the internet and not through a sent file like a “normal” virus. Once the worm became well known, fixes became readily available, but fears continue about how vulnerable computer users are to attack.
Hyperion Says I can understand why someone would kill—even if I can’t condone it. I can even comprehend the twisted mind of someone who would rape, though I favor the death penalty for those people. But will somebody tell me what in Yoda’s name is the point of making a virus like this? There is no profit in it that I can see, and while I suppose the hackers got some attention, it’s all anonymous. I got caught on this at the beginning, when no one knew what it was. I had Hyperion Institute members Laureate and Koz working ‘round the clock to try to help, as well as computer expert friend Cartwright offering suggestions, and it took 13 different virus scanners before we found one that worked.
When it first started, I thought it was something just screwed up on my computer (the way it works is that Windows continually shuts down, and the worm looks like a Windows Message), and I was afraid I’d lose all of my data. I can’t go through that again.
Even after it was clear that there wasn’t any lasting damage, my computer would still start over every 3-5 minutes, and it became like a Chinese Torture as I would log on and worry when it would hit, only to get my hopes up every time I’d make it past 5 minutes, and then have them cruelly dashed again.
On The Other Hand It didn’t turn out nearly as badly as I thought. After those first dark 24 hours the worm became well known, and after that it was only a matter of time until we could find the best solution. I also had friends helping me out, which made me feel good, and I ended up losing nothing, which was fantastic.
The most surprising thing, though, is that I learned the value of a minute. The way the worm worked was, when Windows would shut down, it would give you 60 seconds to save everything. At first I panicked, but soon I learned that a minute is a very long time, and if you’re calm, you can get all your documents and pages saved, and dash off several short notes to whomever you need to. In a weird way, I’m glad I actually had that experience. In fact, I wrote this entire section in only 60 seco
West Palm Beach County and Pandora are snickering right now
The great California Governor Recall is the talk of the land. At last count, anywhere from 135 to 247 candidates could be on the ballot of the October 7 Recall, due to a loophole that allowed anyone with $3500 and 60 signatures to run. The mammoth slate has prompted the State Election Office to hold a lottery to redo the alphabet, so that everyone would have a chance to be first on the ballot (coincidentally, many voters select the first name listed). The new alphabet will start with R-W-Q-O-J-M-V-A and eventually end with L. there has even been a game show started called, “Who wants to be Governor?”
Hyperion Says What a mess. On all sides. This Recall is going to be so unwieldy as to make the 2000 Presidential election look like German efficiency. Mark my words, lawsuits will come from it, and they will be fighting it out for years. But don’t blame the guy who initiated it (who now isn’t even running). If Governor Gray Davis hadn’t done such a terrible job, this never would have come up. Finally, Californians deserve much of the blame for allowing this kind of law into use.
On The Other Hand This is democracy, one way or another. People get the government they deserve, and Californians wanted this. Yes, it’s a circus, and yes, it’s a bit unseemly, but hey: it’s still going to be freer than anything else the world has ever come up with, and that’s saying something.
And while I’m on my soapbox, most of you know that Arnold Schwarzenegger is the main candidate, along with a host of other celebrities, including Gary Coleman of Different Strokes fame. I don’t know if the pint-sized Arnold or the big one would make good governors, but it pisses me off to hear these pundits dismiss them so thoroughly. Hey, bozos: it’s not like career politician Gray Davis was doing any good. I don’t think someone should be governor—or any other office—just because they are a celebrity. But neither should that automatically disqualify them (the cast of Full House excluded). What should rule these type of situations is the ideas and plans the people have, not the time they’ve spent on the public dole OR their fame and fortune.
Critics really Gigli hate this movie (those words are supposed to rhyme)
Speaking of people jumping all over something, Critics have been having a field day with the new Jennifer Lopez/Ben Affleck movie, Gigli, calling the film terribly acted, saying the stars have no chemistry, and basically tearing it to shreds. These opinions have been borne out (or possibly helped cause) by the dismal box office showing for the 57-million dollar production, which will likely go down as one of the biggest flops in Hollywood history.
Hyperion Says People need to get a life. I was not interested in Gigli, haven’t seen it, and don’t plan to, but I seriously doubt it’s the worst movie ever made. Besides, while I’m sure it’s not a champion (even Affleck admits it doesn’t work), I’m cynical about the so-called critics, because as I see it, they have been lying in wait for months, ready to savage the picture. What is it about America that makes people so ready to tear down people who are successful? These two aren’t even all that obnoxious, at least relatively speaking, to all the other Hollywood stars. Why do people take such delight in ripping things to shreds like this movie? There are plenty of bad movies out there, and chances are your favorite star or director has made one too (*batteries not included, we hardly knew ye). Until you’ve actually done something with your life, try not to make your career destroying others.
On The Other Hand My understanding is that Jennifer Lopez is not naked in this movie, so I don’t have a lot of sympathy for them. And c’mon: was Gigli (rhymes with really. No, it really does) the best they could come up with? That alone hurts terribly. They at least could have called it, Bennifer: the Movie.
Hyperion
August 15, 2003
Credits
Thanks to Cartwright and Laureate for computer help
Special thanks to Koz for help getting my computer back and editing this
@2003 the Hyperion Chronicles
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