the Hyperion Chronicles
“If we are the future, does the world have a chance?”
#143 The Art of Prognostication
There are few things cooler than being right about something; not only being right but also being ahead, so that you predict what’s happening. I’ve been right about several things in the past—as friends and family and my Readers can attest to—everything from the popularity of upcoming movies and music groups to political climates. Of course, I’m not right about everything (one of the drawbacks of going on record). For example, I thought the Magic Pygmy Rabbits would have made their presence known by now (or have they?), but on the average, I think I have a pretty good record.
Conversely, there are few things more gut wrenching than having a great idea and having it stolen. Long-time Readers will perhaps note my unyielding hatred for the diabolical Kathleen Turner. This is because of an idea she stole from me (and don’t ask; it’s too painful). I had another great idea stolen several years ago too:
I know this firefighter, and he told me that every time they would come back from a blaze where there was a fatality, they would get the phone book and cross that person’s name out. That seems incredibly callous, but think about it: people like firefighters deal in a world where tragedy can be unstinting and unimaginable. If they took to heart every bad thing that they saw, they would soon go crazy or at least get burnt out and leave the business. So their black humor is just a way to save their sanity.
This got me to thinking. I bet places that are pretty depressing to the average person must have some of the most dark humor; to help them survive. What a great set-up for a sitcom! So, I thought about it: what’s the most depressing place I can think of?
A Morgue.
Of a Children’s Hospital.
I even thought of the title and theme song (although, on advice of my editor, I’m not going to share it here), and for several years I was planning this show.
Then, a few years ago, ‘long comes Six Feet Under, a show about a family that works in a Funeral Home. When I found out the creator lived in Atlanta, where I lived, I realized that he must have overheard me talking about it sometime and stolen my idea. I tell you the truth: the world is full of haters.
So, with that in mind, it occurs to me that I should not sit on some of the forecasts I’ve been making for years about the future. The predictions aren’t as important to me as my ideas or medical theories (which I will not be sharing here because I don’t trust all of you yet), but they are things that you might hear from someone else soon, or they might actually happen. And before they do, I want to get on the record.
Don’t hate, Litigate
I’ve been talking about this one for years, and since it’s already starting, I suppose I won’t seem all that all-knowing, but it can’t hurt to mention it. I don’t know what you think about cigarettes. Personally, being allergic, I can’t stand them, and it’s hard for me to dredge up much sympathy when smokers’ rights get more and more eroded.
However, the great tobacco trials of the last decade were litigated on unbelievably faulty methodology. Even if you believe the Tobacco companies were involved in a nefarious scheme to cover up their doings, there have been warnings on the packages for years, and even without the warnings, people have known they are bad for you for a long time.
I’ve talked to some older people who justify their own smoking by saying people didn’t really know it was that bad. With all due respect, B.S. The government has been saying for years smoking leads to all sorts of risks. If you go back in literature, both periodicals and fiction, the idea that smoking is not a good thing has been around for at least 150 years. Add to that the empirical evidence of smokers themselves. They may have lied to themselves, but why did they think they were coughing up their lungs every morning?
I’m not really trying to jump on smokers, though. If someone wants to smoke, and they keep it away from me, whatever. The lawsuits, though, abdicated the personal responsibility of the individual, to blame Big Tobacco.
The result was a friggin' mess. To start with, the federal and state governments have—you better sit down for this—largely frittered away the settlements on superfluous spending rather then education, healthcare, or the other “priorities” they committed to when the money first came in. Big surprise there.
Secondly, they are already planning huge initiatives—and building them based on future cigarette taxes. So the government has a vested interest in keeping smoking levels the same or higher!
Anyway, mark my words; this is a boondoggle that will not get better any time soon. The push to have smoking outlawed (and that’s coming too, by the way) is not in the government’s financial best interest, and so you’re in for a fight.
But there is another problem coming out of all this, based on the logic used. The lawsuits claimed that cigarette manufacturers made a defective product—a tenuous argument at best sine cigarettes are legal and there are warnings right on the package—and that smokers were not responsible for own choices. With victory brought copycats, and expect these types of trials to increase dramatically as well.
First you had city governments suing the gun manufacturers. A federal judge recently threw out most of the suits, but expect to see more. Now you have the Fast Food industry in the cross hairs. People: I don’t know how to break this to you, but McDonald’s doesn’t seek you out and stuff Big Macs down your throat.
And the worst is yet to come. With the logic of no one being responsible for their own actions and going after something that could hurt somebody, look for Auto companies, School Systems, Governments, and Hollywood to be sued in class-action fashion in the next decade. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
I’ve got a few more, but this seems like a good place to stop for now. I’ll continue with these predictions another day.
Until then, try not to shoot anybody while driving your car and balancing a burger, fries, soda, and a dangling ciggy. Then again, there could be some money in it.
Hyperion
August 18, 2003
Credits
Thanks to Tufloi for Editing
@2003 the Hyperion Chronicles
“If we are the future, does the world have a chance?”
#143 The Art of Prognostication
There are few things cooler than being right about something; not only being right but also being ahead, so that you predict what’s happening. I’ve been right about several things in the past—as friends and family and my Readers can attest to—everything from the popularity of upcoming movies and music groups to political climates. Of course, I’m not right about everything (one of the drawbacks of going on record). For example, I thought the Magic Pygmy Rabbits would have made their presence known by now (or have they?), but on the average, I think I have a pretty good record.
Conversely, there are few things more gut wrenching than having a great idea and having it stolen. Long-time Readers will perhaps note my unyielding hatred for the diabolical Kathleen Turner. This is because of an idea she stole from me (and don’t ask; it’s too painful). I had another great idea stolen several years ago too:
I know this firefighter, and he told me that every time they would come back from a blaze where there was a fatality, they would get the phone book and cross that person’s name out. That seems incredibly callous, but think about it: people like firefighters deal in a world where tragedy can be unstinting and unimaginable. If they took to heart every bad thing that they saw, they would soon go crazy or at least get burnt out and leave the business. So their black humor is just a way to save their sanity.
This got me to thinking. I bet places that are pretty depressing to the average person must have some of the most dark humor; to help them survive. What a great set-up for a sitcom! So, I thought about it: what’s the most depressing place I can think of?
A Morgue.
Of a Children’s Hospital.
I even thought of the title and theme song (although, on advice of my editor, I’m not going to share it here), and for several years I was planning this show.
Then, a few years ago, ‘long comes Six Feet Under, a show about a family that works in a Funeral Home. When I found out the creator lived in Atlanta, where I lived, I realized that he must have overheard me talking about it sometime and stolen my idea. I tell you the truth: the world is full of haters.
So, with that in mind, it occurs to me that I should not sit on some of the forecasts I’ve been making for years about the future. The predictions aren’t as important to me as my ideas or medical theories (which I will not be sharing here because I don’t trust all of you yet), but they are things that you might hear from someone else soon, or they might actually happen. And before they do, I want to get on the record.
Don’t hate, Litigate
I’ve been talking about this one for years, and since it’s already starting, I suppose I won’t seem all that all-knowing, but it can’t hurt to mention it. I don’t know what you think about cigarettes. Personally, being allergic, I can’t stand them, and it’s hard for me to dredge up much sympathy when smokers’ rights get more and more eroded.
However, the great tobacco trials of the last decade were litigated on unbelievably faulty methodology. Even if you believe the Tobacco companies were involved in a nefarious scheme to cover up their doings, there have been warnings on the packages for years, and even without the warnings, people have known they are bad for you for a long time.
I’ve talked to some older people who justify their own smoking by saying people didn’t really know it was that bad. With all due respect, B.S. The government has been saying for years smoking leads to all sorts of risks. If you go back in literature, both periodicals and fiction, the idea that smoking is not a good thing has been around for at least 150 years. Add to that the empirical evidence of smokers themselves. They may have lied to themselves, but why did they think they were coughing up their lungs every morning?
I’m not really trying to jump on smokers, though. If someone wants to smoke, and they keep it away from me, whatever. The lawsuits, though, abdicated the personal responsibility of the individual, to blame Big Tobacco.
The result was a friggin' mess. To start with, the federal and state governments have—you better sit down for this—largely frittered away the settlements on superfluous spending rather then education, healthcare, or the other “priorities” they committed to when the money first came in. Big surprise there.
Secondly, they are already planning huge initiatives—and building them based on future cigarette taxes. So the government has a vested interest in keeping smoking levels the same or higher!
Anyway, mark my words; this is a boondoggle that will not get better any time soon. The push to have smoking outlawed (and that’s coming too, by the way) is not in the government’s financial best interest, and so you’re in for a fight.
But there is another problem coming out of all this, based on the logic used. The lawsuits claimed that cigarette manufacturers made a defective product—a tenuous argument at best sine cigarettes are legal and there are warnings right on the package—and that smokers were not responsible for own choices. With victory brought copycats, and expect these types of trials to increase dramatically as well.
First you had city governments suing the gun manufacturers. A federal judge recently threw out most of the suits, but expect to see more. Now you have the Fast Food industry in the cross hairs. People: I don’t know how to break this to you, but McDonald’s doesn’t seek you out and stuff Big Macs down your throat.
And the worst is yet to come. With the logic of no one being responsible for their own actions and going after something that could hurt somebody, look for Auto companies, School Systems, Governments, and Hollywood to be sued in class-action fashion in the next decade. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
I’ve got a few more, but this seems like a good place to stop for now. I’ll continue with these predictions another day.
Until then, try not to shoot anybody while driving your car and balancing a burger, fries, soda, and a dangling ciggy. Then again, there could be some money in it.
Hyperion
August 18, 2003
Credits
Thanks to Tufloi for Editing
@2003 the Hyperion Chronicles
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