The Hyperion Chronicles

The Hyperion Chronicles
“All the cool kids are reading it”

Author’s Note: I am running for president, and have from time to time written columns on why I would make a great dictator, I mean properly elected leader. I took some time off from politics, and had planned on waiting until September to get back in the game, but this started weighing on me, and I felt the need to write now.

Editor’s Note: The following (and more to come this fall) deals with sensitive subjects, that some will have trouble with and may take offense to. With all due respect, you need to get over it. The stakes are too high to get skittish now.

#313 The Chicago Way

“Proceed and be bold.”
-Samuel ‘Sambo’ Mockbee

PROLOGUE #1: A scene from The Untouchables

This is a film about the guys who brought down Al Capone. In the scene, Chicago native and old beat cop Jim Malone (played by Sean Connery) is talking to Eliot Ness (played by Kevin Costner), about what it will take to bring down the legendary gangster.

Jim Malone: You said you wanted to get Capone. Do you really want to get him? You see what I’m saying is, what are you prepared to do?

Eliot Ness: Anything and everything in my power.

Malone: And THEN what are you prepared to do? If you open the can on these worms you must be prepared to go all the way, because they’re not going to give up the fight until one of you is dead.

Ness: How do you do it then?

Malone: You wanna know how you do it? Here’s how: they pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue! That’s the Chicago way, and that’s how you get Capone. Now do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that?

PROLOGUE #2: A scene with Bear
I called my friend Bear the other day, and out of the blue asked him, “Do you think it’s wrong I’m happy those two planes [in Russia] were taken down by terrorists?” Bear was momentarily taken aback.

“Why, was Streisand on the plane?” he asked hesitantly, probably wondering what deep end I’d gone off this time.

“No, no.” I interjected. “I’m saying this wrong. I’m not happy those people died. But it’s already happened and I can’t change it. What I’m happy about is the apparent cause. That’s okay, isn’t it?”

“Why are you happy that it’s terrorists and not mechanical or weather or something?”

“Because if it is terrorism, and it is somehow tied to Al Qaeda, it means Russia will finally get in the game. They will bring down the thunder and the lightning on the terrorists’ heads. They understand.”

Why would this make me happy, even ironically so? I’ll tell you: when 9/11 happened, I wasn’t devastated like many. It was a grim and unhappy time, but I understood. I (as well as many others) had been predicting it for years.

(And while I’m on the subject and to forestall the inevitable emails, no I do not think Bush or anyone else could have prevented it. That something was coming was clear to everyone in government, and more could have and should have been done, but to claim it could have been prevented is like saying you could predict the lottery. You see the little ping-pong balls come out of the chamber, and you know what numbers they are. You know what set of numbers they come from. You even know from what area they immediately just arrived. But that doesn’t mean you knew those exact six numbers would pop up in the slots.)

Unlike most, I didn’t even particularly hold the act against the terrorists. I mean, of course I blamed them, but I didn’t see this as unthinkable monstrosity, but rather the latest shot fired in a brutal war that the West had thus far refused to admit was going on.

Let me explain further. A long long time ago the little guys didn’t mess with the United States because they were scared of what would happen to them. For a time, even the big guys (Russia, Germany) didn’t mess with America. Somewhere, that changed. It may have started to erode with the Bay of Pigs. Vietnam certainly didn’t help. Carter brought it on in a hurry when he became paralyzed during the Hostage Crisis. Reagan changed that somewhat, but even he seemed helpless when the barracks in Lebanon were hit.

The retreat began in earnest in the ‘90s. First the Gulf War was won, and President Bush told the minority Iraqis to rebel and America would help. This didn’t happen, and Saddam was able to reclaim power and slaughter his own people. What this showed the world was that America didn’t like going that extra mile, paying that blood price.

Clinton practically made it his foreign policy. Besides terrorism there was Somalia and Kosovo, where America repeatedly showed it didn’t want to go in and fight. Then you have the WAR:

1993 – The World Trade Center is bombed

1996- U.S. base in Saudi Arabia bombed

1998 – 2 U.S. embassies are bombed on a single day, in Kenya and Tanzania

2000 – The U.S.S. Cole is bombed

You’ll hear revisionist history about all these fabulous measures that were taken, but I lived through it, and in all that time the biggest responses were bombing an aspirin factory (supposedly a former weapons plant), and bombing a camp it was known bin Laden hadn’t been in for years. (That’ll show ‘em: “You harbor terrorists and you’ll pay for it, when we get around to it.”)

Americans were worried, but they weren’t worried enough. The war was already going on, but they didn’t realize it. For sure the biggest reason was that it was going on far far away, and there’s always trouble going on “over there.” It’s easy to ignore it when it doesn’t affect you. Another component might be that not a whole lot of Americans were killed. The embassies killed a lot of people, but they were Kenyans and Tanzanians. It’s a lot harder to get upset when they don’t look like you, even if they did die (partly) for you.

But I’m not writing this to castigate the country. It is what it is. And when 9/11 happened, I thought the rest of the country (and world) would wake up to the fact that a war was indeed happening. The current president seemed to say the right things, warning that when it came to this war, “Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists.”

Finally, I thought. He understood. Unpleasant as the idea was, this business had to be done. Like Petyr Belish said, “When you have to sleep with an ugly girl, it’s best to get on with it.”

And for awhile, it seemed like that was going to happen. Afghanistan came quickly (by military standards), and good things were done. Iraq came, ever so slowly, and I’ll not get into the merits of the war here (another time), but I will say this: all this blathering about coalitions is so much hot air. Hey, I’m all for coalitions too. It helps greatly—and often is essential—to have others on your side.

If I have to go to a fight, I certainly try to get my friends to help. But even if they don’t, I still have that fight to go to. And that’s what no one seems to understand: this fight has to be done sooner or later. As much as we love to pass the buck (responsibility, our future bills, Social Security, the environment, et al), I’d rather take care of this now.

I’ll tell you what else the country doesn’t seem to understand: 9/11 truly was part of a war. There was this popular idea that it be treated like a criminal matter, to be handled by a police-type investigation. I’m all for carefully sifting through the facts, and getting your ducks in a row, but that’s the wrong overall idea. This is a war, and in war, people get hurt.

This last fact is perhaps what America understands the least. Many act like it’s so terrible and unfair that 9/11 happened. Of course it’s unfair! Of course it’s terrible! It’s a f*****g war!! That’s what happens in a war: many many people get killed.

It is this flip-side too, where America is so squeamish. The country is rich, and consequently much less willing to sacrifice. I was listening to a radio show the other day from the ‘40s, and during the commercial the announcer reminded everyone to save their fat to give to their butcher. That’s because the fat was used to make ammunition to help the war effort. And that’s just one of the ways the Allies sacrificed.

Now it seems like any little thing is too much. We go on and on about the price of gas or the hassle of airline travel. Hey: I’m guilty too, but we’re missing the point. It’s going to be bad. War is always bad, until you win.

And winning won’t happen in this case, unless the other sacrifice is understood: many of our soldiers will be killed. I absolutely hate it, but that’s part of the Butcher’s Bill for fighting a war. The counterpart is even more important: many on the other side will die too.

America (and its allies) truly doesn’t seem to grasp this. They are so careful to make a good impression, to do everything they can to spare every single life that they let opportunities slip through their fingers and strategic planning go by the way side. Don’t get me wrong: I am all for trying to be as merciful as possible to civilian life. I don’t want the world to think badly of soldiers. But a war is a war, and by definition it’s already brutal. To paraphrase Belish, much better that you do it quickly and get it over with. A quick war, however brutal, is overall much more humane than one that drags on forever because a decisive blow is never struck.

Instead they worry about public opinion; across the pond and the Arab world. I have news for you: they may never like us. But if they’re going to, they will like us when we win.

I’ll tell you what’s far more important than being liked: being respected. The world—especially in the Middle East—understands one thing above all others: strength. If America had put the Hammer of God down when this first started, we might be in a different place right now.

Going back to my prologue: there is a reason people respected the Mob. Take away morality for a minute. If you saw a gangster on the street—and you had any brains—you wouldn’t mess with him. Why? You respected (and feared) what would happen to you, to your family if you did.

This is where Russia comes in. Russia has never been as concerned with “human rights.” That can certainly be a bad thing; I’m not arguing. However, in this case, it’s what may be needed. Russia doesn’t mess around when it comes to things like this.

Before the first Gulf War, Saddam was holding some 20,000 “Human Shields,” and it was unknown if the Coalition could proceed. Gorbachev went to visit Iraq personally. He basically told Saddam that if he if didn’t let the people go, Russia was going to march down, and not only would they annihilate Iraq’s army, but Russia would take all the oil too. Faced with the certain implacability of Russia’s threat, Saddam chose to fight the Allies. Big surprise.

I would love nothing more than for these latest two acts of terrorism, these two planes brought down, to be somehow tied to Al Qaeda. Russia hasn’t been a Superpower for some time, and they are just itching to show how tough they still are. I bet they would smack the living hell out of the terrorists, and send them back to the Stone Age.

It would be nice if we lived in a world where brutal tactics didn’t work. But we don’t. For most of the world, it is the law of the jungle. A lion would never attack an elephant, for he knows that not only would it be futile, but it would mean his quick and violent death. Same reason you’d have never slapped Capone.

Read this part carefully: sooner or later it will come to this. The enemy will not quit until they stop fighting. And they will not stop fighting until they are either all destroyed, or are so terrified of the consequences that they wouldn’t dream of firing another shot.

So far America has given them little reason to fear reprisal. I have hopes Russia might. And just so there’s no misunderstanding, if you ever elect me, God as my witness I will bring down the thunder and the lightning on mine enemies, and show them the Chicago Way.

Here endeth the lesson.

Hyperion
August 31, 2004

Credits
Thanks to Bear for discussion and Editing
Thanks to Aviendha for Editing
Thanks to Marcellus for discussion
Thanks to Durden for discussion

Motto Explanation
If you have to ask, I guess you’re not that cool

Shout outs
Happy Birthday, Skippy