The Hyperion Chronicles
“Kick the Tires and Light the Fires”
#359 The Sins of Tom Cruise
Perhaps you’ve heard about the clamor surrounding Tom Cruise lately. A whirlwind courtship with Katie Holmes, some seemingly bizarre behavior on talk shows, proselytizing about his religion. He’s flipped his lid, he’s on drugs, it’s all a publicity stunt for the two’s upcoming movies. Where is the truth in all this? Let’s examine each allegation.
There is an expression in the South I just can’t use in this column, but smack my face and call me Suzie if this isn’t the stupidest idea since “Saved by the
SIN #2: TOM IS MAKING A FOOL OF HIMSELF OVER KATIE HOLMES
Exhibit #1 is the Oprah incident. I watched it, and I’ll admit it’s painful, but this is because I get embarrassed for other people.
But when you really think about it, the furor isn’t the behavior, but that we didn’t expect it. If Will Ferrell did something like Cruise did no one would bat an eye. If Robin Williams didn’t do that, we’d worry. However, Tom Cruise is usually a pretty quiet guy, so people freaked out.
For the sake of argument let’s say the behavior is bizarre—for him. But so what? He says—and I believe him—that he’s in love. Do you know why I believe him? Because I—and every one of you knuckle heads—have done crazy embarrassing things when you were in love. Don’t even try to lie and tell me you haven’t. We all have made fools of ourselves over some chick, or completely lost our self-respect waiting for some guy to call. It’s just life. The only difference is that Tom Cruise is famous, people want to see him on Oprah, so everyone witnessed him jumping up and down about a girl.
There has been a lot of criticism about his choice of Katie Holmes. Why? She’s beautiful, she’s a talented actress, and even if she were Plain Jane, people fall in love with whom fall in love with. Why is this so huge?
SIN #3: TOM CRUISE HAS BEEN PREACHING ABOUT HIS RELIGION—SCIENTOLOGY A LOT, AND IS EVEN TRYING TO CONVERT (CATHOLIC) KATIE HOLMES
First of all, I love all these people who pop off about Scientology and don’t know anything about it beyond a two minute piece on Headline News. I actually read “Scientology,” so I can say a little bit. For one, it’s not a religion. I would call it more a psychological approach to life. One could very much be a Christian and a Scientologist at the same time. They may not be, but it’s possible. (Think of Scientology more like Taoism.)
One often-heard barb is that “Scientology” was written by L. Ron Hubbard, a Science Fiction author. So what? If you think about it, aren’t all religions Science Fiction? (Except the one YOU believe in. See how that works?) You have omnipotent beings, magic powers, talking animals, miraculous events, pointy hats; these are the things Sci-Fi is made of. Hey, I’m not bashing your God. I’m just saying it’s a stupid criticism. Who was Paul before he wrote the Epistles? A murderer. Similar checkered pasts are found for most authors of religious books. Through faith you believe in the power and ideas, so the writer shouldn’t matter.
It is also alleged that Scientology is a cult. Again, who’s doing the finger-pointing? Just about any religion would seem like a cult to someone who’s not involved. For that matter, how is it any different from an Amway meeting, a Tony Robbins Seminar, a Boy Scout Jamboree, or a Star Trek Convention? I am not hating on these things. What I am saying is that when you get a group of people committed to something—especially if their lives have been changed—and their behavior is going to look strange to the outside world. That’s just the way it is, whether you’re sewing on badges, arguing in Klingon, or symbolically eating someone’s flesh and drinking his blood.
But Hyperion, he’s trying to convert Katie Holmes! Again, so what? She can do both, but even if she couldn’t, like you cared what religion she was a month ago. People convert all the time. Hello! It’s Tom Cruise. I might be tempted myself.
The only charge that has any validity here is that Cruise has been yapping about Scientology a lot more. I’m not interested in hearing him talk about that. But hey: this is par for the Celebrity course. I don’t really care what Cameron Diaz thinks about the Environment, but if she can get someone to film here going ape over poor Bolivians or tree frogs, more power to her. It’s certainly not new for Celebrities to have opinions.
For that matter, I don’t really care to see Billy Graham or Rick Warren on Larry King every time I turn around. It gets old to me, and I’m not the only one. But no one is in an uproar about their preaching all the time. No one does skits about them on Saturday Night Live.
But Hyperion, Tom Cruise railed against Psychiatry and Psychiatric drugs! Again, this is something that I actually know something about. He has a good point. Our society is quick to leap to a medical fix for out problems, rather then work on underlying causes. And, for many of the psychotropic drugs, the doctors don’t know why or even how they work; just theories. If the worst Cruise does is say Psychiatry is bad, that’s not the end of the world. I don’t think he’s completely or even mostly right, but at least he has people talking about it.
There is this thing in North American Culture to ordain Celebrities with apotheoses. (This deserves its own column, but another time.) The flip side of this is the almost rabid glee people seem to have to pull Celebrities down. They just can’t wait to make catty comments and pass judgment.
What does this say about us?
Sigh. That issue is also for another time. What I do know is that in this case the persecution borders on the ridiculous. Tom Cruise has not abused our patience with stories of boozing or whoring. For the most part he’s been quiet, and when we did hear about him it was saving someone’s life by running in front of a car or diving in a river.
What he has done is make terrific movies again and again. I have never seen a bad Tom Cruise performance, or one where I wasn’t seeing everything he had to give. (Unlike other talented actors who routinely mail it in: I’m talking to you, Focker Clan.) I haven’t even seen a bad Tom Cruise film since LEGEND. (Even if you didn’t care for EYES WIDE SHUT or VANILLA SKY, they were at least noble efforts and perhaps not well understood.)
So we have a guy who consistently gives us great films, and he acts weird over a girl and talks a bit about his personal beliefs, and gets defensive when people malign the lifestyle. For this we destroy a man and snicker at his downfall?
I got your sin right there.
Hyperion
Credits
I ain’t thanking anybody. Well, I suppose I owe a debt to all those people who said stuff along the way and riled me up to write this.
Motto Explanation
I’m going to pretend you didn’t come down here and read this
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