The Hyperion Chronicles

THE EXILE: DAY 6

I am sitting in a truck stop about 300 meters from the American/Canadian border. In the past six days I have attempted to cross at seven different border checkpoints, and if tonight too is unsuccessful, I may have to admit defeat, at least in this avenue.

Of all improbabilities, I am accessing the truck stop's wi-fi, using the laptop of a man named--and I could not possibly make this up--Beau Grecco. (Teach me to never make certain character assumptions about truck stops and the clientele who visit them.)

Beau uses some sort of software I have never even heard of, let alone used, so again, forgive me if this post looks a bit strange. As soon as I post we are leaving and then Beau and I try once again to gain America's bountiful shores. (Or in this case, Spokane, Washington.)

I realize that when I left you last Thursday my missive was at best cryptic, at worst so out of left field that most of you were left with interet whiplash.

In the few moments I have left (as I have been able to persuade Beau that a second helping of pie is in order), allow me to attempt to explain.

When first I moved to the great White North that is Canada, I openly admitted it was to be in the Witness Protection Program. Numerous queries as to exactly why I was in the Witness Protection Program (and why Canada?) were ignored, but you can hardly take me for that big a fool. (And if you can, keep it to yourself.)

Despite my refusal to discuss the incident(s) that led to my arrival in the Land o' the Maple Leaf, I was quite forthright about the overall mission, for the simple reason that I trusted the anonymity of the net. Not leaving anything to chance, I even took the steps to make it seem like my net usage came from across the country, so that when other net denizens checked their stats they would assume I browsed from somwhere else entirely.

Pretty clever, huh?

However, I was done in by--who else?--Brittany Bratt.

As most of you know, an inadvertant mention of Miss Bratt in Monkey Barn led to all sorts of trouble for me: conflicts of interest, unhappy women; even an attempted revolt. (One day, when this is all over, remind me to tell you of those gory details. Better yet: maybe I can make it this year's Halloween story.)

I thought all that trouble was behind me, though, water under the bridge. You know what they say: "Swat at a gnat: swallow a camel."

The Brittany Bratt hits shot me far up on the Blog-0-Scale, so far, in fact, as to finally become noticeable to people who have, shall we say, taken an keen interest in my erstwhile whereabouts.

I always knew this day would come. I planned for it, best I could. But like a man who cannot properly read a clock, I thought I would have more time.

when word came, a one sentence terse warning, I knew I must move, and move RIGHT NOW. What is it Neal says in HEAT?


"Become attached to nothing in life you can't walk away from in
thirty seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner."




Most of my life is that way. Most of my life can be walked away from, and quite quickly at that.

But not you, gentle readers. Never you.

Knowing it was a danger, I spent a few precious minutes, crafting a goodbye message. It was not the masterpiece of elegance I had always envisioned, but at least I got one out.

And now I roam, hoping to avoid capture until I have made right what was wrong.

Posting? It will be infrequent at best, but I do what I can. Check back often, and hopefully we meet here again soon.

Better yet, leave the light on your back porch lit. You never know when a safe haven I will need.
Beau is paying for the repast, so I must away. Stay safe and think of me often.

You know I often think of you.

Hyperion
8:07 pm




Hey-Ho, Friendly Hyperion Nation. I have so much to tell you and so little time. The latest update on my exile is below, but before that, a little housecleaning.

I finally got a computer with Internet access for a few minutes, and saw my sites were in bad repair. Those last few weeks before I left I was so damn busy I rarely had a moment to spare, and did not keep up with how things looked. That's on me, but for realz, people, like it would kill you to tell me if the evil cursed mother f*****g Internet Explorer is showing a [Endif!] break on one of my posts?

Sorry, it's been an incredibly long day. I'm not trying to hate, but it's frustrating when no one tells you your shit is fucked up. (And I don't usually swear this casually, so you know it's been a tough one.) I refuse to use IE anymore except to fix stuff, and my time on the Internet is so limited I really should let it go, but I gotz me some pride, dammit!

Anyway, I spent about an hour cleaning up, the result of which:

All current movie reviews are on the Table of Contents of Movie-Hype. (I actually have written about 12 more since the exile, but they are all on the laptop, and I cannot find a computer with a 3.5 disk drive, so for the moment those reviews and other things remain locked, but look to get a ton of reviews soon. In the meantime, there are hundreds of reviews to choose from. Go edumcate yourself on movies you should be seeing.

Hyperion Chronicles is up to date. (I think, knock on vinyl siding.) Please let me know it if isn't. You can catch up on all the latest Ask Hats or stories or whatever. Anything that didn't seem like a column went in the Soapbox, if you are looking for TV show reviews or something.

As for this homepage, you will notice I took all the BTE posts (Before the Exile) off. They are still around if you want them: over on the left hand side about half way down all the posts back to July are available. They will stay up there until I get permanent Internet again.

Speaking of which, I should have somewhat reliable Internet for a few days, so look for more posts here. Sadly all the stuff I have been working on is momentarily unavailable, but I shall solve that problem too.

Okay, in my few remaining minutes, let me give you a quick update: