Deep in the Well of Savage Salvation

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Empire Taxes

Empire Taxes
I am your Emperor and you will pay me the Taxes you owe

Empire Taxes

Empire Taxes
I am your Emperor. You must support the Realm!

"Chronicle Groupie"
Hyperion February 16, 2007
I had so many great plans for this week. It was to be Love Week, complete with stories, flashbacks, questions, analysis, humor, advice, and maybe even some matchmaking. I would have been a hero at the end of this week; Nay: a god.

Last week I was battling a head-cold; moderately severe, and I wasn't worried. It had already started to dissipate, or so I thought. Apparently a large fan of Kurt Russell (and what illness isn't?), my headcold took two days off to "backdraft," and then roared back meaner than ever.

In the meantime, a secondary and possibly even tertiary illness invaded my body (at this point the best guess is infection, but it could have been plague). The result of which was a 72 hour period where I was about as sick as I've ever been in my life. Let's put it this way: both my ankles swelled back up after the sickness was over, but my body was so weak by this point that it didn't even register. Good times.

Anyway, this week didn't happen. I thought about postponing everything to next week, but I had been planning ahead and already had next week all mapped out as well. The best I can do is a few belated Valentines.

I actually tried to post these Wednesday, when I was still way too weak to be out, but I wanted you the readers to know that I cared. (Also, I decided to download some love poems to read aloud to Kaida, because, in the immortal words of Carlos, "Chicks like that shit.") Sadly the library internet was down (by now, most of you familiar with my life are not a bit surprised), and this didn't come about. Before I write my post today I will mention a few if that's all right with you.



HYPERION'S VALENTINE'S LIST (BELATED, BUT DON'T HATE)

To my Dad - for going above and beyond the call of duty this week. I may write a column about what it was like to be sick, but it's so graphic and icky that it'd probably have to be HyperionX. I can't even describe what he did for me while I was ill, but let's just say that greater love have no man than this for his sick son.

To Koz - for finding out about the showing of all five Best Picture nominees back to back to back to back to back and getting me all excited about it. I don't care if I have to crawl; I will make it there.

To the many generous readers - for donating and helping make that trip possible. (And to those who asked: yes, my Paypal account is in Canadian dollars, until I can get an American bank account and switch it over, but through my dad we can transfer and access the funds, so please keep sponsoring me for all the events you'd like to see me write about. (There must be a Beef Jerky festival or porn convention someone needs covered, right?))

To Bear - for turning 28 either Tuesday or Thursday. (In true Hyperion fashion, I can never remember if his birthday is on the 13th or the 15th, but either way, Bear rocks. If he were on the Bachelor, I'd watch.)

To my Monkey Barn - for plugging along as well as they can without me, and being good sports. (Well, most of them.) I promise guys, I have big (BIG) plans for that place when I'm back and stable. In the meantime keep up the good work.

To Taco Bell - for being open late.

To Fat Black Women - for always being right about everything. (Seriously: when I finally get around to codifying the Hyperionic Code Section Three, that has to be one of the new rules. Have you ever seen a movie where a fat black woman wasn't right?)

To the incredible night clerk here at my undisclosed hotel - As a fellow writer she understands how hard it is for me to get my message to the people, and allowing me to sneak in here is a major boon.

To Jack Bauer's dad - For showing us what cutthroat really is. Jack's a chip off the old block.

To Jesus - for visiting me in the middle of the night when I honestly was thinking I might not live until the morning and making me feel better. I may write about this encounter too, maybe for next week.

To new readers - for showing up. When I do manage to get online I don't really have time to read all the comments, but I do scan them, and every time I see a new name it warms my heart. I have no idea where these new people are coming from, but I likes it, I loves it, I wants some more of it. (BY THE WAY, IF YOU ARE RELATIVELY NEW YOU MAY NOT KNOW THIS, BUT YOU CAN SIGN UP TO RECEIVE AN EMAIL LINK EVERY TIME I POST SOMETHING NEW. JUST SEND AN EMAIL TO hyperionexiled@gmail.com AND ASK TO BE ADDED TO THE MAILING LIST.)

To Helvetica the Sea Monster who lives in the pool in front of my trailer - for not eating me. 'Nuff said.

and to Kaida - for calling me every day, trying to cheer me up and keeping me company through the realm of Despair. (One thing, though: leaving a trail was a good idea, but I'm not sure how wise it was to leave skittles. I've been eating them every chance I get, which means we may never get out.)

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