The Hyperion Chronicles

I had been stuck in my house for way too long, waylaid and infirmed with various injuries both physical, emotional, mental and valorical. (Yes, I know that “both” is usually used to mean two particular things, not four, but I couldn’t think of a word that would mean “four” things, and now that I think about it I could have omitted “both” and just put a comma after “injuries” and the sentence would have been fine, but after the whole big to-do of you calling me out and this parenthetical, I’ll be damned if I’m going back to change it now.)

In other words, I was not doing all that well. I think Carlos sensed this. He called Monday night to say he was coming down Tuesday.

“Get a good night’s sleep friend, for I arrive early on the ‘morrow. A hearty day out will restore your vim and refresh your wounded soul.”

Actually, those quotation marks are bogus. What Carlos actually said was,

“I’m coming down there tomorrow you homo, and you better get your ass out of bed. We gonna chase the Panocha, and give Rib Shots to anything who creeps on our Gangsta.”

Tomato/Tomahto.

We ended up watching NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, which I will try to have reviewed by Monday. We also ended up plowing through the entire first season (10 hours) of Showtime’s The Tudors. I am going to review that as well, but I cannot separate the review from the experience of watching it with Carlos. To say Carlos knows very little about early 16^th Century British History would be, well, an understatement. Yet if only for irony’s sake, I think I enjoyed watching it with him more than I possibly could have with anyone else. More on that next week too.

So, since everything is next week, what AM I going to tell you about? Ah, I have it. We went to Smokey Bones for a light supper Tuesday before the movie. As is my custom, I asked three Questions of the Day, and recorded the answers. I thought you might find them interesting and want to use the questions yourself with co-workers, friends and mistresses.

I was going to do some sort of Heath Ledger question, in honor of his demise earlier that day. However, we felt there was not enough variety, as there can only be one or two favorite films. (I actually did ask this question over in Monkey Barn, if you wanted to weigh in.)

Here are the Questions I went with:

1. What Cartoon would you like to see made into a Movie Musical?

2. In honor of the recent MLK Day, who/what is your favorite King?

3. If you were journeying with Dorothy, Scarecrow and the rest to Oz, for what would you ask the Wizard?

Carlos and I answered first.

Hyperion’s Answers

1. G.I. Joe [Tell me you wouldn’t live to hear Cobra Commander sing All By Myself or something]

2. King Kong [How can you go against Kong]

3. Conscience

Carlos’s Answers

1. He-Man [He was excited about the possibility of a Skeletor/Evil-lyn duet]

2. King Ralph

3. Soul

Our server’s name was Amanda. She was an interesting lass, with three very distinctive tattoos on her hands and arms. She was reluctant to speak of them, but after prodding revealed they were all in honor/memory of the band Sublime. I did not know this then, but Carlos told me the lead singer died in 1996! That is devotion. I am currently listening to a few of their songs on You Tube as I write this, and it seems decent, but Hyperion will not be adding to his collection of tattoos any time soon.

Amanda’s Answers

1. The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

2. Smoothie King

3. Willpower [When she said this one I said, “You needing willpower and me needing a conscience…I wonder what we’d talk about on the way there?”]

People were interested, so Amanda sent over another waiter and a bartender.

Adrian

1. Bleach

2. The Burger King [not the restaurant; the guy in the commercials]

3. $ [Technically, it is supposed to be something about yourself, but whatever]

The most interesting name was Canyon. I thought it was unique enough that I asked him about it. He told us, “It was a total accident. My mom told them Kenneth, but the nurse misheard her and put “Canyon,” and when she found out later she liked it, so it stuck.”

Canyon’s Answers

1. Family Guy [You know this is coming]

2. King Charles III (Fornication Under Consent of the King) [This is a total myth, as highlighted in this Michelle Tsai article, but I could tell this was a story he loved to tell the ladies in bars, and I just didn’t have the heart to tell him it was wrong]

3. Discipline

So there you go. I do not suppose you care what we had for dinner, so I will leave that out other than to mention that Smokey Bones makes their own donuts fresh for dessert, which I think TGI Friday’s does as well, and I am definitely of the opinion that more restaurants should do this.

What about you? What would your answers be?

Hyperion
January 25, 2008