GATHER 'ROUND, CHILDREN. YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?
STORY TIME!!!!!
When last we spoke, children, I was telling you of that Infamous Tribe of Gypsies - the ones who liked to traipse through the forest in their clean-as-a-whistle white dress.
The Tribe of Gypsies had fallen on hard times, as recently every male in the outfit had died of a mysterious illness, which may or may not have been suspciously related to an outtake from the movie Armageddon.
Well, children, it turns out that one of the remaining Tribeswomen was secretly a Laundry Witch (don't ask), by the name of Fallakagash. She was as fierce as the mountains, as pitiless as the sun, and she cross-stitched a fine...uh, whatever the hell it is Cross-Stitchers think they are actually making.
Fallakagash had infiltrated the Tribe of Gypsies looking for her long lost sister. You see, long ago the Tribe had stolen away Fallakagash's sister using the Apple trick, and the Laundry Witch was madder than a militant feminist at an Eminem concert.
Fallakagash had sworn Revenge - using the most Evil of herb in the world - Mint.
The Problem (there was bound to be one) - Fallakagash did not know which Gypsy was her sister. Could it be the fresh-faced one (who secretly liked to sneak under the wagons at nightfall)?
Or,
Maybe the paranoid one who saw threats at every turn. It was impossible to say.
One thing was for sure - Fallakagash was going to find her sister, no matter what chicanery it took - and she was going to cut the hearts out of those responsible.
Tune in next time, for thrills, chills, and spills - which the Laundry Witch turns out to be quite adept at removing. We find out Fallakagash's sister - and learning the shocking secret of her past - as well as the Terrifying truth of the Red Lantern.
Tune in Next time for......
Wherever I may Romani...
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