Deep in the Well of Savage Salvation

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Empire Taxes

Empire Taxes
I am your Emperor and you will pay me the Taxes you owe

Empire Taxes

Empire Taxes
I am your Emperor. You must support the Realm!

"Chronicle Groupie"
Hyperion March 2, 2001

#27 A Dubious and Questionable attempt to share with the audience


1. Melancholy ballads on bad albums from years gone by suddenly seem deep and meaningful "when you really listen to the lyrics.”

2. Your entire day hinges on whether or not you got to see the second part of that “Wonder Years” cliffhanger on Nick-at-Nite.

3. You forget to eat, and when you remember, the idea of spending five minutes preparing your microwave-ready meal is too much to deal with.

4. You rationalize not taking a shower for days on end by telling yourself that "au natural" is the in thing this year.

5. Getting mail from a friend makes you ecstatic, but then you don’t read the letter for the better part of a week.

6. You think of the most creative, funny, and inspiring ideas of your entire life, and no one is ever awake to share them with.

7. You watch Infomercials that you’ve already seen before and still become emotionally involved.

8. The Weather Channel has become an Epic Miniseries.

9. You can speak knowledgeably about every Headline News host there is.

10. You write down lists of signs you might be depressed.


Bonus Sign: You are not sure what day it is, and cannot summon the effort or initiative to find out.


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