The Hyperion Chronicles

The Hyperion Chronicles
“If you lived here, you'd be home by now”

#401 These Things I believe

It started with #101. I needed something interesting to do for the first in my new century of columns, to honor Ben Franklin’s favorite Prime. I decided to look back on the first hundred columns, to reflect on some of them with statements of things I believe. Things you should believe too. Things you DO believe, even if you don’t know it yet.

And now we’ve come to #401, and I proudly unveil the list again. The last one hundred columns have seen a monumental shift in the Institute. Gone are the email lists, and with it most of those old-school readers. In are the websites, not just the Hyperion Chronicles, but one for Movie Reviews, one for Hyperion X, one for Top Ten Lists, two for stories, both Literary and Dark, and numerous group projects. I lost over 1500 readers when I shifted from email to the web, but I found a home.

I hope you’ve found one too. And now, before I get mushy, we look back on the last hundred columns. May the next hundred be even better.

I believe this is about the best story I can write. (#300)

I believe I've done this before. (#301)

I Believe that for all his faults, Ronald Reagan will be more and more appreciated, and more and more missed as time goes on. (#302)

I Believe people should Suck It Up, Walk It Off, and Get Over It. (#303)

I Believe some people think it’s okay to lie for a good cause, and all those people prove is how wrong they were to begin with. (#304)

I Believe Princess Diana is still alive. (#305)

I Believe I may hear more than most. (#308)

I Believe that the day I became Hyperion my life (and eventually the world) was changed forever. (#312)

I Believe my way of dealing with terrorists is far superior to any current plan. (#313)

I Believe there are 7 things a girl has to do if she wants to marry me. (#314)

I Believe we’d care a lot more about the suffering of African and Asian children if they looked like our own. (#316)

I Believe sometimes you have to embrace the pain. (#317)

Believe all movies should be seen in Widescreen. (#318)

I Believe I could fix out oil problem (#319)

I Believe I could fix our edumacation problem. (#320)

I Believe our Government wastes a lot of money it doesn’t need to. (#321)

I Believe I love my brother. (#327)

I Believe people should “play the tape all the way through.” (#332)

I Believe 70,000 hookers can’t be wrong. (#333.3333)

I Believe I’m very very thankful no pictures survive of me dressed up as a ballerina-pig. (#342)

I Believe people have the right to die. (#343)

I Believe 14 questions can get inside info on anybody. (#347)

I Believe you are responsible for your behavior, no matter how much you’ve had to drink. (#349)

I Believe this is the most important column I’ve ever written. (#352)

I Believe Star Wars will always hold special memories in my life. (#353)

I Believe lilacs are evil (#354)

I Believe the Internet Community is a Paradox. (#358)

I Believe the backlash against Tom Cruise is stupid. (#359)

I Believe my favorite color doesn’t exist in the 256 palette. (#361)

I Believe there is a book out there even worse than Harry Potter. (#362)

I Believe I hate the Mall. (#367)

I Believe sometimes it’s better to change horses in midstream. (#368)

I Believe the longer you rule the harder it is to stay honest. (#370)

I Believe “Hit Me Baby One More Time” might be the most subversively genius song in a decade. (#376)

I Believe when it’s all said and done we might—just might—look back at Hamas’s political victory as the start of WWIII. (#377)

I Believe the furor over the Mohammed cartoons tells us everything, and nothing. (#378)

I Believe I tell a romantic story better than you’d think. (#379)

I Believe women’s love of flowers is why they don’t rule the world. (#380)

I Believe I have weird ideas about death. (#384)

I Believe I killed my dog. (#385)

I Believe I should always listen to that feeling in my gut. (#386)

I Believe there is a conspiracy out there to keep me from peeing. (#388)

I Believe people on opposite ends of a silly fight are usually the exact same pathology of stupid. (#391)

I Believe sometimes I just get tired of bucking the system. (#392)

I Believe there isn’t a person alive who shouldn’t be interested by the historical life of Jesus. (#393)

I Believe viciousness can be eloquent. (#394)

I Believe sometimes I’m a noble idiot. (#396)

I Believe I just may have stumbled on a cash cow. (#397)

I Believe this “story from a picture” idea is going to take me places. (#398)

I Believe I owe someone a story, one that's going to make your jaw drop. (#400)

I Believe this column is done. (#401)

Hyperion
August 22, 2006